Hi chaps!
Hope all’s well. As promised, here is another story from my forthcoming book of short supernatural stories, ‘Tales from the Deuteronomy Club’.
Cheers!
Hugh
START:
THE SLOUGH OF MELTON FEG .
by Hugh Paxton.
FROM THE DULCHESTER CHRONICLE
APRIL 30
SLOUGH DRAINAGE GOING AHEAD
BY Donald Simpson. Correspondent.
The slough of Melton Feg is now being drained. Heavy equipment from Dulchester and workmen on loan from local farms are making excellent progress. It is confidently predicted that within the sixmonth this desolate worthless morass will be fertile farmland . This must surely come as welcome news to local farmers, doubly welcome as the slough has in the past claimed livestock and even upon occasion people. An archaeological team from the University of Durham is working in close cooperation with the labourers . Speculation as to the nature of their work has centered around the pre-Roman monoliths that can be observed on the Southern spur of Melton Down, overlooking the slough . The team leader, Abelard Jonas, is remaining tight-lipped. We nonetheless wish he, and his team the very best of luck .
FROM THE DULCHESTER CHRONICLE
MAY 2
STRANGE DISCOVERY!
By Donald Simpson . Correspondent
A dramatic discovery was made yesterday by the men now draining the slough of Melton Feg . We have it on good authority that no less than thirty skeletons were uncovered – all in excellent condition due to the peat. Although we can offer no first hand reports of the discovery our source says that the skeletons were found early yesterday morning. No age has been put on the finds which are being transported to Dulchester for reburial. Work on the drainage has halted. It is to be hoped that the delay is only temporary.
FROM THE DULCHESTER CHRONICLE
MAY 3
PRIEST IN SKELETON DISPUTE :
By Donald Simpson. Correspondent.
The dramatic discovery of thirty skeletons in the Slough of Melton Feg is causing quite a stir in Dulchester tonight . An open meeting ended in uproar as the Revd Macallum refused permission for their reburial in consecrated ground. It is not the first time that the Revd Macallum has been the center of controversy. Readers may remember the Carr Sanderson affair when the gentleman in question forcibly interrupted a Registry office marriage ceremony declaring it “offensive in the eyes of God .“ The reasons for the Revd Macallum’s objection to reburial is as yet unclear. No doubt all will be explained at the open meeting tomorrow night The drainage project has been further delayed by equipment malfunction. Engineers from Dulchester are expected to conduct repairs shortly.
FROM THE DULCHESTER CHRON I CLE.
MAY 4.
SKELETON DISPUTE HOTS UP !
By Donald Simpson. Correspondent.
The open meeting at Dulchester Town Hall ended in chaos last night. The Revd Macallum, supported by several vociferous members of his parish, reiterated his refusal to allow the reburial of the thirty skeletons found in the Melton Feg Slough His claim that the skeletons were “ Heathen and undeserving of a place in Paradise “ brought cheers and jeers from the packed floor. The archaeological team from the University of Durham refuted the Revd’s claim calling it ( and
him ) absurd . “There is absolutely no way of divining the religious inclination of these dead,” said Dr Jonas, leader of the team “Dating the bones accurately at this time is impossible,” he added . Lady Babblethwaite, now in her second term as Mayor, deplored the Revd Macallum’s stance and made it very clear that she would exert herself “ to ensure a decent Christian burial “ for the skeletons . These latter are currently housed in Dulchester morgue where they are being studied by the District Pathologist, Dr Smith-Myers . Rumours that the skeletons are two headed have been condemned as “irresponsible nonsense” by official sources though it does seem likely that they are deformed to some degree .
FROM THE DULCHESTER CHRONICLE.
MAY 5
BISHOP INVOLVED IN SKELETON ROW !
By Donald Simpson. Correspondent.
The Revd Macallum has been summoned to Bellingham by his ecclesiastical superiors. Unconfirmed sources indicate that the still unresolved Skeleton Controversy is not welcomed by the Bishop. In a gesture of support for the Revd Macallum seven of his parishioners have occupied the Town Hall and are refusing to move. Dr Smith-Myers has revealed that, as we surmised, the skeletons are deformed but added that deformity and religious zeal are by no means mutually exclusive. “There is still no evidence that the deceased were anything other than ugly Christians,” he said. His remarks have served to infuriate the supporters of Revd Macallum who have dubbed him “The Imp of Satan”. Work on the Slough drainage project that precipitated the row is still held up.
FROM THE DULCHESTER CHRON I CLE.
MAY 6.
SKELETON DISPUTE HOTS UP ! !
By Basil Mallard. Correspondent.
Donald Simpson is unwell.
In the latest bizarre development in the Skeleton Squabble six followers of the Revd Macallum launched an assault on Dulchester Morgue They had placed stakes in the Melton Feg skeletons and were in the process of decapitating all remains housed within the morgue when police intervened. All six are now placed in custody and have been refused bail. Their actions seem to have been precipitated by the recent wave of unexplained deaths that has plagued the neighbourhood which they have attributed to the Melton Feg remains . The District Pathologist announced that in his “considered opinion, flu is more likely the villain of the piece,” and urged the local population to remain calm. The incident at the Morgue has resulted in the postponement of Lady Babblethwaite’s funeral .
MAY 7
SKELETONS TO REST IN PEACE !
By Reginald Mallard. Correspondent
The direct intervention of the Bishop has finally put an end to the Skeleton Squabble . The Revd Macallum’s objections were overruled last night and the Melton Feg remains will be laid to rest this Saturday. Dr Jonas, speaking from Dulchester Hospital said that “this decision is the only morally acceptable solution. I only regret that my illness is such as to prevent me attending the service”. The Revd Macallum has refused to officiate and the Revd Bodicum Grant of the Parish of Telworth will conduct the service .
FROM THE DULCHESTER CHRONICLE
MAY 5.
PRIEST DESTROYS MORGUE !
By Graham Pell. Correspondent.
In scenes more reminiscent of the Middle Ages than this century the Revd Macallum led a small group of torch-wielding parishioners in an attack on the Morgue last night . In the ensuing conflagration all thirty of the Melton Feg skeletons as well as the remains of twenty three flu victims were destroyed .The new Chief Constable called the attack an “outrage” and totally condemned the perpetrators, all of whom are in custody. “It is a sad day when people think that they can get away with this sort of thing !” he said . The Revd Macallum and his followers, all of whom seem to be in the grips of a singular religious mania have been placed under psychiatric observation. Speaking on their condition the District Pathologist, Dr Smith-Myers said “I am not optimistic. There is no remorse there.” On a brighter note the draining of Melton Feg Slough has begun again.
FROM THE DULCHESTER CHRONICLE.
MAY 9.
MORE SKELETONS DISCOVERED!
By Connie Ball. Editor.
The draining of Melton Feg slough has again revealed a burial pit. A replacement team from Durham is rumoured to be on its way here following the discovery of a further 30 skeletons. The Bishop was unavailable for comment.
August 24, 2010 at 2:05 pm |
Drat them damn skeletons!