Hugh Paxton Blog Note: We are maintaining observation of our sea monkeys (triops) but are getting bored which is why today’s update involves gay Sesame Street characters, severed penises, helium balloons and criminals.
Well, it has been fun and games in the triops tank today. I rose early, assumed monitoring position by the tank and noted in my scrupulously maintained records that all the triops had vanished.
Music does great things for plants but I decided to read them the daily paper instead. The reasoning being that they’d spent several million years being eggs and might like to know how evolution was getting along.
After a few articles I decided evolution wasn’t doing so well and that maybe the triops should stay in their gravel.
Take this, for example – Sesame Street producers released a statement that Bert and Ernie are just good friends. not gay. The producers went on to explain that they were puppets and didn’t have a sexual orientation. This response was to an on-line campaign by gay activists to ‘out’ Bert and Ernie to raise awareness among young (or let’s be frank, in this case, pre-school) children to accept gays and lesbians.
I read this (the petition come from a certain Lair Scott, Illinois and has 7,600 signatures) to my Triops but it failed to raise a smile.
I decided to skip the doom and gloom in Somalia because it is Somalia’s fault and other human waste and stupidity (although I did read them a story regarding a child care worker busted by London coppers for looting who was saying that she would lose her job if she was remanded in custody- her job involves looking after children, including her own one-year-old. Did she get a babysitter organised before getting drunk and smashing shop windows?)
I posed the question to my prehistoric experiments. The triops remained unmoved.
“Hah! thought I “They’ll like this one! Penis severance and disposal practiced by some Thai wives to castigate errant husbands!”
I listed methods employed.
1. Fairly straightforward. Cut it off while he’s drunk and let him reel off to a hospital emergency room (where only too experienced doctors will reattach it)
2. Chop it small and throw it ducks and chickens. The Thai phrase translates as ‘feeding the ducks’
3. Attach it to a helium balloon and float it away over Bangkok skies for all to wonder at.
I explained to the triops that this sort of thing (helium balloons excepted) is quite common in Thailand. And that surgeons are really experienced in what might be ordinarily considered an esoteric field of trauma.
No result from the triops.
Tomorrow I’ll try music.