Archive for August, 2011

Thai Days: Reason for blog silence

August 29, 2011

Hi chaps!

Apologies for the recent Hugh Paxton blog silence from Bangkok. I’m pleased to say I’m alive and well and haven’t been banged up in the Bangkok Hilton on narco-trafficking charges. Truth is I’ve been contracted by the IUCN’s Mangroves For the Future (MFF) Secretariat to write up profiles of mangrove projects in the Seychelles, Indonesia and India and while it is fascinating stuff it also involves a LOT of work and I haven’t had time to answer messages or check the spam. Most bona fide messages, for reasons unknown, are consigned by my overly cautious computer to the Spam folder.  Bear with me. Should be completed soon and normal service will be resumed. There have been numerous incidents of note during my Mangrove Days…so stay tuned!

Take care

Hugh

Triops Watch Update- Final Report

August 22, 2011

Well chaps, it was a bold experiment.

But with the exception of two suicidal triops we raised nothing whatsoever. Project staff have shuffled off in search of dark smoky Bangkok bars where they’ll drink to forget. The tank stands empty (but there’s nothing particularly new about that). For all of you out there who shared our journey my thanks. Could have been a contender.

But it wasn’t.

I’ll turn out the light now.

Hugh

Brigitte’s Pick: Avoid stress – get out and enjoy nature

August 17, 2011

Brigitte's pic

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t sit around the house . .
get out and enjoy nature!


Here’s what can happen …

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Brigitte’s Pick: Another ODD day at the beach

August 17, 2011

Brigitte's pic

 

Another ODD day at the beach

 

 

 

 

 

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Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.
– Pablo Picasso

Leonie’s Bit: Always put the paint in the trunk of the car!

August 17, 2011

Pictures of accident on St Johns Bridge ..

The people in the blue car had a 25-litre (5 gallon) bucket of paint

on the back seat when they had the accident.

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The ambulance driver wouldn’t let the female paramedic out of the ambulance

Because she couldn’t stop laughing — he said it wasn’t professional.

Triops Watch Update

August 16, 2011

Two Tripos spotted today. One had jumped out of the tank (clever, the tank has a cover), the second had somehow glued itself to the self same tank cover. Both were tiny. And very dead.

This project perplexes me. Triops have out lived the dinosaurs. But my bunch can’t seem to outlive a mayfly. I’ve no idea what we are doing wrong.

Hugh Paxton’s Blog has the following question: Has anybody out there actually raised a triops (sea monkey)and kept iy alive for more than two minutes? If so, how?

Thai Days: Tick tricks! Really helpful!

August 15, 2011

Ticks are horrid little bastards. But with a bit of loving tender care,  Hugh Paxton’s blog has the solution. You rub their bodies gently in a circular movement with one finger. This comforts the tick, or it might make it feel ill, if  it’s full of blood.  After a minute, or less, of massaging your tick will release its jaws and become compliant.

You then squash the little parasite with a knife.Make sure you completely destroy it.  Stamping on it might impress the gals, but will just give it a new refuge in your boot waffle. Using a cigarette to burn off ticks is stupid and will inflict minor burns.  Ticks are, to a degree, fire resistant. Unlike your bollocks or other sensitive areas. Pulling them off is very dumb. The head stays embedded and things get really rotten!

So, chaps! Ticks? No worriies!

Give em a soothing body rub!

And spread the word to anybody else who rides elephants, or has a dog or an un-washed teenager ! Tell em you first heard it from Hugh Paxton’s  (tick-free) Blog!

BLOG ED NOTE: This solution was achieved after almost every other option had been explored and found to be defunct. Unfortunately this blog has a passion for rainforests and animals and ticks are regular hitch hikers. But the rubbing method works.

Triops Watch (more of the same)

August 15, 2011

“The other day upon my chair,

I saw a triops that wasn’t there,

It wasn’t here again today,

I wish that triops would go away.”

 

Or, preferably, show itself!

Or do something!

PS I tried playing Mozart today but that didn’t help.  I’ll try the newspapers again. Or maybe an improving book. Yes! Good idea! I’ll try the first few chapters of the Bible. Just to remind my triops that it isn’t really pre-historic.

Triops Watch (continued updates plus penis cuttings, gay Sesame Street puppets, and London looters)

August 15, 2011

Hugh Paxton Blog Note: We are maintaining observation of our sea monkeys (triops) but are getting bored which is why today’s update involves gay Sesame Street characters, severed penises, helium balloons and criminals.

START

Well, it has been fun and games in the triops tank today.  I rose early, assumed monitoring position by the tank and noted in my scrupulously maintained records that all the triops had vanished.

Music does great things for plants but I decided to read them the daily paper instead. The reasoning being that they’d spent several million years being eggs and might like to know how evolution was getting along.

After a few articles I decided evolution wasn’t doing so well and that maybe the triops should stay in their gravel.

Take this, for example – Sesame Street producers released a statement that Bert and Ernie are just good friends. not gay. The producers went on to explain that they were puppets and didn’t have a sexual orientation. This response was to an on-line campaign by gay activists to ‘out’  Bert and Ernie to raise awareness among young (or let’s be frank, in this case, pre-school) children to accept gays and lesbians.

I read this (the petition come from a certain Lair Scott, Illinois and has 7,600 signatures) to my Triops but it failed to raise a smile.

I decided to skip the doom and gloom in Somalia because it is Somalia’s fault and other human waste and stupidity (although I did read them a story regarding a child care worker busted by London coppers for looting who was saying that she would lose her job if she was remanded in custody- her job involves looking after children, including her own one-year-old. Did she get a babysitter organised before getting drunk and smashing shop windows?)

I posed the question to my prehistoric experiments.  The triops remained unmoved.

“Hah! thought I “They’ll like this one! Penis severance and disposal practiced by some Thai wives to castigate errant husbands!”

I listed methods employed.

1. Fairly straightforward. Cut it off while he’s drunk and let him reel off to a hospital emergency room (where only too experienced doctors will reattach it)

2. Chop it small and throw it ducks and chickens.  The Thai phrase translates as ‘feeding the ducks’

3. Attach it to a helium balloon and float it away over Bangkok skies for all to wonder at.

I explained to the triops that this sort of thing (helium balloons excepted) is quite common in Thailand. And that surgeons are really experienced in what might be ordinarily considered an esoteric field of trauma.

No result from the triops.

Tomorrow I’ll try music.

Triops Watch: Five watched! None Interesting!

August 14, 2011

Hugh Paxton’s Blog’s team of trained and underpaid observers watched five triops for several minutes and they didn’t do anything. They were also a bit small. The project lives in hope of growth, activity and three bulging prehstoric eyes on a mutant shrimp.

 Possibly prompting a movie.

But morale is low. We’re off to Chatuchak Sunday market tomorrow and we’ll be buying a lot of fish and bowls. The triops really will have to pull their shrimpy little socks up to compete with the new comers.  I want to buy a freshwater stingray but, as usual, my beloved wife will sensibly tell me not to. And yes, she’s right. Male mid-life crisis. Some guys want cars. I want a sting ray, preferaly two, for breeding and release purposes. Probably cheaper actually. I must mention that tomorrow!

 I’ll let you know what we end up with. Going to Chatuchak is never predictable and is always so cheap that it ends up being seriously expensive.

Cheers from Bangkok!

Us


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