I’m a victim! Help!

by

Hugh Paxton’s Blog went out last night to the Rolling Pony on Soi Craputchak. There was a live band, Thai but doing covers and really cheerful, and the scene was jumping. Frisky! I’d had only three large shots of Irish when a girl approached me and suggested that we might become intimate. I explained that I was married and wasn’t the sort to let things get out of hand. She bought me another drink and her perfume was musky, discrete but terribly attractive. Everything after that was a bit of a blur. I seem to remember wrestling a monitor lizard on stage (just a stunt) then there was some trouble and bottles were thrown. Nothing went seriously wrong until the police arrived. It must have been the drink but I threw the monitor lizard at the captain and it tore his throat out! Blood everywhere! Nobody moved. Nobody said anything. The captain fell flat. Sounds silly but my first instincts prompted me to help the monitor. A policeman drew his side arm and there was a gun fight. The girl had a gun and dropped a bag spilling lots of pills Totally confusing! I had a gun but that wasn’t mine. I appealed for calm and was attacked by three monitor lizards and a parakeet! I’m a victim! All I did was throw a monitor lizard at a police captain.

I need legal aid! Desperately! Please send on April 1st! Before noon!

Hugh

AC No: Aprilfool1964


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