Regime Death by haircut


Hugh Paxton’s Blog has always watched North Korea with a sense of grisly fascination. Insanity intrigues me. Missile launches, starvation, a rocket that might have made it to the moon if it hadn’t saved itself the bother and just exploded on terra firma…robots en masse waving fluffy fae flowers and pompons.

Yes North Korea has provided food for thought.

But I reckon it is now doomed. The Great Leader has ordered all young men to emulate his hair cut. I’m not knocking his haircut – I think it’s a snappy bit of snipping. And the hairdresser is probably still at liberty.

If everybody gets the same haircut there will be insufficient hair dressers to meet demand. Perhaps the hard labour prison camps might rise to the challenge (and if the guests can’t handle scissors and a hair drier – assuming there is any electricity – I’m sure they’ll be shot)

But ladies and gentlemen! Let’s pretend! Thousands, tens of thousands of North Koreans start cutting each other’s hair and striving for that Great Leader Look!

They all look a bit similar at the moment – moon faced, waxy, truculent, bored, violent, mal nourished and not remotely sexy – but let’s slap on that Great Leader haircut and it’ll be damn near impossible to tell who is who. If the Great Leader goes one step further and orders his followers to have cosmetic surgery to realign their faces and mimic his own then it’s over. Everybody will look identically hideous. Anybody could assume total power. Everybody could assume total power.

And nobody would be able to identify The Great Leader.

This haircut plan could bring the dictatorship down, open the gates of the Hermit Kingdom, wash away decades of misery, death and failure and allow everybody to stand for consideration for Great Leadership!

Just a thought!


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