Archive for May, 2014

Thai Days: Gold in that far field and “The Churning of the Great Milk Ocean.”

May 30, 2014

Hugh Paxton’s Blog finds this one fascinating. A farmer bought a plot of land in Phattalung’s Khao Chaison district and began to plough it with a view to establishing a modestly sized palm oil plantation. He struck gold. Sheets of it, probably buried 800 years ago by a religious group from what is now Malaysia heading for a pagoda in what is now Thailand. No, let’s make that ‘probably’ a ‘possibly’. The whole thing is still rather unknown. The field has yielded golden earrings, eating utensils, and one sheet of gold so far examined by an excited historian depicts “The Churning of the Great Milk Ocean” – an incident in Hindu mythology. Police are currently outnumbered by treasure hunters.

Thai Days: Long day

May 30, 2014

Hugh Paxton’s Blog is sitting here feeling humid and greasy and fed up. There is an excellent thunderstorm ongoing but it is all noise and lightning and no rain. There are various things that are dragging me down. One, every time I get an email it is delivering bad news. Not entirely true. Noush sent me her belly dancing act. Rather surprising! A Namibian belly dancer! That was great fun and I’ll post it tomorrow. But overall people seem to be dying or depressed and want to let me know. I don’t want to know.

Bangkok trundles along but I’m tired of all these arrests (arresting that corrupt scumbag at the Foreign Correspondents Club in front of the assembled media was a silly idea – the army was either making a point or needs to rethink its PR approach), the Red Shirt dweeb who tried to poison a soldier by giving him a bottle of cold tea laced with something unpleasant injected in a bottle requires drinking his bottle, and this curfew is just plain detrimental to the tourism industry. I remain a staunch advocate for Thailand but it’s crumbling.

Not collapsing. Life goes on. But it’s edgy. Tense. I always suggest Thailand as a tourist destination. I love it here. But at the moment it isn’t quite as nice as usual. The army needs to finish the opposition off. And Thaksin, if he cared should submit himself for arrest and just punishment. Two years in jug. I can’t imagine he’ll be snuggling up in a cell with serious villains.

These protests, this coup – the whole damn thing is becoming dreary. We’ve had months of it!

The problem, according to Hugh Paxton, is that Thais are too polite. They will maim, slay, fight but don’t want any violence.

Cheers! From Bangkok!

Hugh

PS Still got thunder, still got lightning, still no rain.

Andre’s Bit: Flu Season

May 28, 2014

Hugh Paxton’s Blog got this from Andre, and as usual he has public health in mind. Be advised. Andre is not a qualified physician. And this Blog does not endorse this flu cure. It might be worth a try.

From: Andre Gast [mailto:imagine1@iway.na]
Sent: Wednesday, May 28, 2014 4:28 PM
To: Brigitte Alpers; Hugh Paxton
Subject: FW: Flu Season

I love this one!!!

FLU SEASON – Read till the end


To avoid it…
Eat right!


Make sure you get your daily dose of fruit and veggies.


Take your vitamins and bump up your vitamin C.


Get plenty of exercise because it builds your immune system.


Walk for at least an hour a day,


go for a swim,


take the stairs instead of the lift, etc.


Wash your hands often.

If you can’t, keep a bottle of antibacterial stuff around.


Get lots of fresh air.

Open doors & windows whenever possible.


Try to eliminate as much stress from your life as you can.


Get plenty of rest..

OR


Take the doctor’s approach.
Think about it…

When you go for a flu jab, what do they do first?

They clean your arm with alcohol…

Why?

Because Alcohol KILLS GERMS.
So…


I walk to the pub. (exercise)

I put lime in my vodka…(fruit)

Celery in my Bloody Mary (veggies)

Drink outdoors on the patio..(fresh air)

Tell jokes and laugh….(eliminate stress)

Then I pass out. (rest)


The way I see it…


If you keep your alcohol levels up,flu germs can’t get you!

REMEMBER:

‘A shot in the glass is better than one in the ass…

Get inspired by reading some amazing poems!

May 28, 2014

Feeling poetic?

Hugh Paxton’s Blog suggests this bunch of altruists.

I don’t think I’ll ever be a great poet. My poems rhyme.

From time to time.

Cheers!

Hugh

From: Allpoetry [mailto:ap@allpoetry.com]
Sent: Wednesday, May 28, 2014 5:31 AM
To: Hugh Paxton
Subject: Get inspired by reading some amazing poems!

ap_01.pngAll Poetry

Hi Hugh Paxton

I see you haven’t visited in quite a while! We miss you 🙂

Did you know you have 2 unread messages waiting for you?

Get your inspiration back!

Time to get more feedback, here’s how:

1. Try our awesome comment exchange

2. Ask for help in the publishing forum

3. Meet someone to exchange reads with in the reads chatroom

Also, check out Hundreds of contestsSmall groupsPopular poems

Hope to see you soon!

– Kevin & the Allpoetry team
If you’d rather not receive email unsubscribe. Have a question? Contact us Allpoetry.com
340 S. Lemon Ave #5614
Walnut, CA 91789

Andre’s Bit : Fired

May 26, 2014

From: Andre Gast [mailto:imagine1@iway.na]
Sent: Monday, May 26, 2014 10:06 PM
To: Hugh Paxton; Kate Elges; Lianne Cairns; ‘ssg’; Carmen Maartens
Subject: FW: Fired

SOME BOSSES HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOUR !!

Thai Days: There may be some repetition Long Live The King!

May 26, 2014

Hugh Paxton’s Blog has experienced some communications problems during our most welcomed period of Martial Law. Bear with me. Long Live the King!..

Emailing: IMG_6081, IMG_6034, IMG_6038, IMG_6039, IMG_6053, IMG_6054, IMG_6056, IMG_6061, IMG_6065, IMG_6069, IMG_6078

May 26, 2014

Annabel’s birthday party! Happy children!

I love to see it!

Lots of water, plenty of fighting, smiles, laughs, loads of squeals and minor injuries, just what children should do! They stayed rather too long and had to be hauled away, a long way away in some cases, wailing, and struggling for more of the party, by bored unhappy looking parents.

And as usual they forgot their shoes, goggles, party bags, clothes, towels, panties, socks.

Most parents here are now going for small birthday parties because it is easier. A mistake in my opinion!

Yes, the aftermath is a vast degree of wreckage and a mother telling me never to show Dr Who again because it gives her four boys nightmares (an interesting accusation, I didn’t show Dr Who, they did it by themselves while I was fooling around in the kitchen) and marsh mallows stuck here and smeared there.

I think a good birthday party should be a riot!

Overall a good result. Daisy went crazy and tried to fight. But that’s a fantasy divorce thing and she’s using this fictional divorce for attention. Lots of children tried to explain to me why she was being unusual. I really wasn’t remotely interested.

All the children had a wonderful time! The Bangkok Dolphins team were magnificent and they liked Annabel and we got a thirty minute extension free of charge. When it was over, I tried to hide.

Not much chance of that. The guests lingered. Nobody wanted to go home. I could understand that. Everybody felt safe, comfortable with Hugh the man who is notoriously soft , they had lots of friends and toys and all were sure that dinner would arrive on time.

It worked. All I need to do now is eat three bags of pretzels, some puffs (cheesy and humid) a large quantity of cake, several pounds of disgusting gooey doughnut things, and all the other stuff.

I have given so much food away already but so much remains! Mountains of miniature hot dogs! I thought children liked hot dogs! What got into them? Last party I made a pile of special sandwiches with exciting fillings.

Nothing resembling a child touched any of them. Salmon and cress with a hint of horseradish and a caper. A blunt but friendly ham sandwich with nothing but ham and a hint of Branston pickle. Cucumber sandwiches. Bovril. Peanut butter.

I enjoyed them.

My tip is to hire somebody professional to do your party and go away (far away) while it goes on.

Cheers!

Hugh

Emailing: IMG_6081, IMG_6034, IMG_6038, IMG_6039, IMG_6053, IMG_6054, IMG_6056, IMG_6061, IMG_6065, IMG_6069, IMG_6078

May 26, 2014

My daughter’s birthday party! Happy children!

I love to see it!

Lots of water, plenty of fighting, smiles, laughs, minor injuries, just what kids should do!

Hugh

TheReporterAndTheGirl (new post] 9 Hottest and Dateable Disney Princes!

May 26, 2014

Hugh Paxton’s Blog is not in search of a prince but if you are, and like cartoons, or unusually chivalrous men, fantasies or frogs here we go courtesy of the Girl. Dream on!

Always fun posts from The Girl. I’m not sure what’s happened to The Reporter. Obviously The Superman is no longer on planet Earth.

I wonder, from time to time, what happened to him, The Superman. I hope The Girl didn’t bash him over the head, push him into her car boot and drive him to Maine and bury him in a shallow grave with snickers to attract bears.

That normally does the job when it comes to disposal.

BLOG ED NOTE: That’s clever, Hugh! The Snickers! The bears! But slightly concerned. How many bodies have you buried for bear consumption?

HUGH: None. And no plans in that direction. Can we let The Girl get on with her Blog?

BLOG ED NOTE: It seems fair.

From: TheReporterandTheGirlMINUSTheSuperMan! [mailto:comment-reply@wordpress.com]
Sent: Monday, May 26, 2014 5:31 AM
To: paxton.bkk@gmail.com
Subject: [New post] 9 Hottest and Dateable Disney Princes!

TheGirl posted: "9 Hottest and Dateable Disney Princes!A featured article by yours truly!! Just click on the link above to take you to my article on DatingAdvice.com"

Respond to this post by replying above this line

New post on TheReporterandTheGirlMINUSTheSuperMan!

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9 Hottest and Dateable Disney Princes!

by TheGirl

9 Hottest and Dateable Disney Princes!

A featured article by yours truly!! Just click on the link above to take you to my article on DatingAdvice.com

TheGirl | May 25, 2014 at 6:30 pm | Tags: disney princes, happily ever after, Relationships | Categories: Uncategorized | URL: http://wp.me/p2MqP7-jN

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Thai Days: Five things not to do: Part one – good advice for criminals

May 26, 2014

Hugh Paxton’s Blog has a history of being boring when it comes to giving advice.

Let me do it again!

Part One: Don’t try an ATM fraud. A French national, who looked very Algerian, has just been nabbed by the cops in Phuket. He explained that he had a few fraudulent cards. And I’m sure he tried a few excuses. “This one belongs to my cousin’s brother’s friend.”

A brief inspection of this innocent man’s premises revealed that “a few” meant seventy cards. All stolen or fake and bleeding money from other people’s accounts world wide. He also had more kilos of Mary Jane than I could fit into my car.

This devious and morally unattractive man is a criminal and should be punished.

He will be. But my daughter was appalled by this French Arab’s prospects. Thai law gives you five years for ATM fraud. Each time you do it. This silly greedy fool is looking at 200 years in Bang Kwang. That’s before the drug charges.

Thai cops are currently worried about being arrested by the army for ineptitude, Red Shirt sympathy (the army has that one seriuosly right), corruption, being totally useless and getting things wrong. Justifiably so, actually on all counts. I hate the Thai police. Brutal, cowardly, inefficient, intimidating, easily intimidated, corrupt, not English policemen at all.

The army dislikes the police. Everybody does. But the army really doesn’t like them. So the police are making efforts to show they can do their job. This malignant fraudster was a perfect snatch. His life is effectively over. Unless he lives for 201 years or isn’t executed. The police waved him around to show they were doing their job.

My beloved daughter Annabel’s verdict: ” If he did that in England he would be in a nice prison with gyms and TVs and things like that. He should have done it in England.”

My verdict: Bang Kwang! Send him down!

Executive Summary: If you are a criminal the police have known what you are doing and have been paid (by you) to turn a blind eye. Game over. The army is now the police and the police are scrabbling to restore their tarnished image. They will look after themselves. And they’ll look for you. Run like hell!


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