Thai Days: Five things not to do: Part one – good advice for criminals


Hugh Paxton’s Blog has a history of being boring when it comes to giving advice.

Let me do it again!

Part One: Don’t try an ATM fraud. A French national, who looked very Algerian, has just been nabbed by the cops in Phuket. He explained that he had a few fraudulent cards. And I’m sure he tried a few excuses. “This one belongs to my cousin’s brother’s friend.”

A brief inspection of this innocent man’s premises revealed that “a few” meant seventy cards. All stolen or fake and bleeding money from other people’s accounts world wide. He also had more kilos of Mary Jane than I could fit into my car.

This devious and morally unattractive man is a criminal and should be punished.

He will be. But my daughter was appalled by this French Arab’s prospects. Thai law gives you five years for ATM fraud. Each time you do it. This silly greedy fool is looking at 200 years in Bang Kwang. That’s before the drug charges.

Thai cops are currently worried about being arrested by the army for ineptitude, Red Shirt sympathy (the army has that one seriuosly right), corruption, being totally useless and getting things wrong. Justifiably so, actually on all counts. I hate the Thai police. Brutal, cowardly, inefficient, intimidating, easily intimidated, corrupt, not English policemen at all.

The army dislikes the police. Everybody does. But the army really doesn’t like them. So the police are making efforts to show they can do their job. This malignant fraudster was a perfect snatch. His life is effectively over. Unless he lives for 201 years or isn’t executed. The police waved him around to show they were doing their job.

My beloved daughter Annabel’s verdict: ” If he did that in England he would be in a nice prison with gyms and TVs and things like that. He should have done it in England.”

My verdict: Bang Kwang! Send him down!

Executive Summary: If you are a criminal the police have known what you are doing and have been paid (by you) to turn a blind eye. Game over. The army is now the police and the police are scrabbling to restore their tarnished image. They will look after themselves. And they’ll look for you. Run like hell!

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