Islamic State/ISIS

by

Hugh Paxton’s Blog dislikes IS/ISIS for numerous reasons.

1. They keep crucifying people, burying them alive, sawing their heads off and causing terror and refugee stampedes.

2. Their press releases suck.

Let’s have a look at their latest press release. For starters it is 11 pages long! What nincompoop thought that up! A press release should be short, sharp and to the point! Not a rambling rant!

Excerpts from the IS press release. Brace yourselves! It is excruciatingly bad.

“If you can kill a disbelieving American or European – especially the spiteful and filthy French – or an Australian or a Canadian – including the citizens of the countries that entered into a coalition against the Islamic State, then rely upon Allah and kill him.”

The grammar is doubtful at best. The logical flow lamentable. And it’s too wordy.

Let us see what else lies in store.

“Kill the unbeliever whether he is civilian or military.”

Short, punchy. But sexist. Lots of women are unbelievers. Surely they have the right to be included in the death list?

Instructions on execution were included.

“Smash his head with a rock or slaughter him with a knife or run him over with your car or throw him down from a high place or choke him or poison him.”

There was quite a lot more about slitting throats. Apparently the Egyptian President, Abdel Fattah al-Sisi is specially recommended.

Again far too wordy! And this “throw him down from a high place” is incongruous when placed with “run him over with your car.” High place is Koran. Running people over with cars? A more recent development. Just doesn’t work.

“O America, O allies of America and O crusaders, know that the matter is is more dangerous than you have imagined and greater than you have envisioned. We have warned you that you that today we are in a new era, an era where the State, its soldiers and its sons are leaders not slaves.”

Repetition! And this slavery business? What’s that about?

The statement ventures into history with pitiful results.

“We will conquer your Rome, break your crosses and enslave your women by the permission of Allah, the Exalted.”

ISIS in Europe? In Rome? What’s the plot? Ban pizzas and carbonara?

No! The plan is revealed as more sophisticated and long reaching!

“If we do not reach that time, then our children and grandchildren will reach it and they will sell your sons as slaves at the slave market.”

OK! Enough! This press release (in poor English, French and Hebrew) has obviously been composed by somebody who wants to kill me, you, my daughter, my wife, all your friends, the Pope, and everybody else. That should keep him and his Islamic State rather busy! A lot of work to do!

But one thing struck me about this that I found interesting. He referred to Barack Obama as “a mule of the Jews.”

That is typical and unimaginative. Here’s the point. He called Secretary of State an “uncircumcised old geezer.”

Old geezer? That is pure London slang. This revolting press release was officially released by ISIS spokesman, Abu Mohammed al-Adnani. But it has been written by a British national who didn’t do very well at school.

My verdict? Drones. Lots of drones! These people want a war. Let’s kill them. They are a blight. A plague.

Cheers!

Hugh

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