New post Split Up Chores, Keep Marriage Together and a King Cobra

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Hugh Paxton’s Blog has received more wise words regarding relationships from TheGirl.

Read on, and get dusting and washing up! It’s actually more fun than it sounds. Some of our happiest family times were spent around the kitchen sink washing, drying, stashing plates, dropping glasses and chatting.

On another, completely different tack, my cat has just gone berserk. She’s mewing and huddling and being annoying. She wants to be with me.

I’ve seen this before. Treat (our adopted cat) was outside doing her prowling and being queen of the night.

There’s something in the garden that is usurping her reign. Treat harasses snakes if they are small. I intervene and break up the squabble and savagery. The snakes here are part of our garden and I enjoy seeing them.

Tonight I know that Treat has met something longer than our ordinary snakes. My educated guess is that there is a King Cobra in our pumpkin patch. It isn’t here to kill Treat, but it will if the cat is dumb enough to try a fight. King Cobras are really long snakes. Three meters. But despite their size they are rather hard to see. They eat snakes. And if you annoy them they rear up to head height and bite you in the face. Then you die.

There is a King Cobra in my garden, of that I’m sure. I have an acute sense of smell. A bit unnatural, actually. I can smell things in the next room, across the road, it’s perhaps a gift or just an aberration. I smelled snake tonight. It was a rather dusty scent, but slightly perfumed. Not unattractive actually.

But I knew that it was a snake of substance.

The cat is safe and sound (and not dead) and my strategy is simple. I shall keep the cat indoors (it wouldn’t go out if I stuck fireworks up its arse) and I shall let our visitor pass unmolested and without mention. He or she will move on in her cobra way.

But I will check the garden closely before my daughter storms out with her pre-breakfast football! The cobra will be gone I’m sure but it’s always wise to make certain! Sometimes they find a place they like.

Cheers from Bangkok!

Hugh

Over to TheGirl!

From: TheReporterandTheGirlMINUSTheSuperMan! [mailto:donotreply@wordpress.com]
Sent: Sunday, December 07, 2014 9:28 PM
To: paxton.bkk@gmail.com
Subject: [New post] Split Up Chores, Keep Marriage Together

TheGirl posted: "What’s your least favorite household chore? Cleaning the toilet? Folding the laundry? Who does the house cleaning in your relationship? Studies show that couples who share household chores equally are happier, especially if both partners carry their fair "

New post on TheReporterandTheGirlMINUSTheSuperMan!

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Split Up Chores, Keep Marriage Together

by TheGirl

What’s your least favorite household chore? Cleaning the toilet? Folding the laundry? Who does the house cleaning in your relationship? Studies show that couples who share household chores equally are happier, especially if both partners carry their fair share of the work agreeably. PsychCentral says divvying up household chores equitably and agreeably can be difficult for two-career couples, but it’s important to discuss and agree how to get the housework done.

All Things Equal

A University of Illinois study found that equal sharing of housework means a better chance for marital happiness. The study examined 220 heterosexual newly married couples and their beliefs, behaviors and marital quality. University of Illinois professor of human development and family studies Brian G. Ogolsky says it’s important for couples to work out their expectations for sharing chores in the first few years of their marriage because the patterns that get established persist and affect the quality of the marriage over time.

A Pew Research report supports these findings. Out of a list of nine things associated with successful marriages, sharing household chores ranked third in importance in a survey of American adults. This belief is consistent for men and women, young and older adults, and married and single survey participants.

Chores for Fun and Bonding

No one likes to get stuck cleaning up after everyone else. Turn chores into a positive instead of a negative by using them for fun and bonding. Doing chores together in a fun way gets them done faster, and time spent working toward a mutual goal means time to chat and enjoy each other’s company. Chat about your day while doing the dishes as one dries and one puts dishes away in the cabinet. Get a little exercise together while walking the dog. View bigger chores as a bonding experience. Cleaning out the garage or doing pool maintenance can be fun if you work as a team. Treat each other to an ice cream date after a long job well done.

Who Does What

Hartwell-Walker recommends thoroughly discussing different household chores, how both partners feel about them, and making a sincere effort to come to genuine agreement about who will do which chores. She advises couples to list out house cleaning chores, outside chores like cutting the grass and cleaning the gutters, child care responsibilities, and extended relationship chores like writing letters, sending cards, buying gifts and arranging social activities. Discuss each area and the items in them. Couples should explore how they feel about doing different types of chores, which chores they disagree about most, and what they both think is the fairest way to handle them.

Sheila Wray Gregoire, author of “To Love, Honor and Vacuum,” says chores can be used to bring couples closer together, rather than as a point of disagreement and discord. She recommends honoring each partner’s preferences and specialties in the areas of household chores, and revisiting work divisions when changes occur such as different work schedules, illness or injury or a new baby. Gregoire also reminds couples to be honest with each other about their real feelings about cleanliness and clutter because holding your partner to a higher or unrealistic standard of housekeeping perfection is a recipe for disaster.

TheGirl | December 7, 2014 at 9:28 am | Tags: dating advice, doing dishes, household chores, marriage | Categories: Musings and Life | URL: http://wp.me/p2MqP7-mh

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