Andre’s Bit: STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM

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Hugh Paxton’s Blog was feeling a bit dismal. I had been assessing four job applicants. Each wanted a comfy chair, an indecently large salary and had been given an hour and a half to answer two questions.

I set to work and felt responsible!

These people’s lives are at stake! I read everything twice and felt a sort of gloom.

All the applicants were Thai and I knew they could speak English – you could tell that from their writing. I could hear them speaking away, picture them being charming and bowing and all that.

But they couldn’t write English. The spelling mistakes shrieked at me from the pages. To take one example, if you are applying for a UN position involving biodiversity, you might, cunningly, spell ‘biodiversity’ correctly. Candidates PC001 to PC004 missed that little trick.

Eek!

My beloved wife came downstairs and asked me what the hell I thought I was doing. I am reviewing the job applications I explained. She said I was stupid and they all had jobs and I should go to bed early and stop worrying about them.

A bit of a show stopper.

I labored on. Then I thought this IS a waste of time.

I read the whole lot one more time, suggested one applicant return to pre-school, and wished the other three well. None are competent. Then Andre sent me this!

I suspect it has been written by a teacher. If any of the UN applicants had exhibited this sort of style they’d have had my 5 star approval!

From: Andre Gast [mailto:imagine1@iway.na]
Sent: Wednesday, February 18, 2015 4:01 PM
To: Hugh Paxton; Brigitte Alpers; Linda Jonker; Kate Elges
Subject: FW: STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM

Very cocky little bugger, but with his logic, he will go far in life.

STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM

I would have given him 100%! Each answer is absolutely grammatically correct, and funny too. The teacher had no sense of humor. 🙂

Q1.. In which battle did Napoleon die?

* his last battle

Q2.. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

* at the bottom of the page

Q3.. River Ravi flows in which state?

* liquid

Q4.. What is the main reason for divorce?

* marriage

Q5.. What is the main reason for failure?

* exams

Q6.. What can you never eat for breakfast?

* Lunch & dinner

Q7.. What looks like half an apple?

* The other half

Q8.. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what will it become?

* Wet

Q9.. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ?

* No problem, he sleeps at night.

Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?

* You will never find an elephant that has one hand.

Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have?

* Very large hands

Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it takefour men to build it?

*No time at all, the wall is already built.

Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
*Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.

Spread some laughter, share the cheer. Let’s be happy, while we’re here!

One Response to “Andre’s Bit: STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM”

  1. tony Says:

    this lightened our day!!

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