Thai Days: Now we are Carpenters! Wallets out!

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For the last three months Hugh Paxton’s Blog’s life has been lived to the background bash of hammers, the shattering of tiles and glass, the whine of drills, the dull grind and stench of cement mixers and the yelling of Thai, Lao, Cambodian and Burmese builders.

The land owners have decided to demolish most of my Thai Village compound and replace the old, charming very Thai houses, with rather hideous functional buildings – a hotel for Middle Eastern guests at nearby Bangkok Hospital, an impregnable warehouse for a faggoty fashion magazine publisher, an apartment block for people who don’t mind paying for a room slightly smaller than a death row holding cell in a Texas penitentiary.

My friends and neighbours have, by and large, been evicted at short notice and all in all it’s a bit of an increasingly lonely mess.

My section of Thai Village hasn’t come crashing down as of yet.

Probably won’t. We are paying 3,000 bucks a month for the roof over our heads. Geese, that’s what we are! Golden eggs. I think even Thai landlords have read that story.

But enough of wanton destruction! Let’s move on to creativity!

Chang has been looting rather good wood from the expiring hulks that once were homes. Our back room is full of it. And every day he brings more. We have become carpenters! And, all that wood, otherwise destined for a skip and a landfill, is now being cunningly crafted into an array of garden furniture. If you are living in Colorado, Manchester or the Dry Tortugas this will be of no practical interest. If, however, you are living in Bangkok and want a bit of lovingly crafted wood in your lives check the attached. This is just the first in a series of products we have designed.

So, yes, interested? Do not hesitate to call – we are only a major traffic jam away and our products are designed to fit into a car of any size. The motorbike taxis can probably handle them, too. In Vietnam I saw a bloke with a water buffalo draped over the passenger seat. He was making 5 kph. Tops. And his buff looked ready for some serious horn action upon disembarkation. Another guy, again in Vietnam, had fifty ducks. Might have been less. Probably more. When he got where he was taking them too he was probably given an unforgettable beaking.

Why this sudden lust for cash and sales here at Number 57 Thai Village? Three reasons, really. Annabel wants a new pair of football boots, Chang wants an air conditioner (he’s been sweating for the last thirty years in his small rooms beside a flood prone canal) and I want to get rid of all this damned wood!

Wallets out chaps! Your traffic jam is assembling itself!

And while you sit out wait agog for new products!

Hugh (with saw dust) in Bangkok.

From: Hugh Paxton [mailto:paxton.bkk@gmail.com]
Sent: Sunday, March 08, 2015 3:25 PM
To: paxton.bkk@gmail.com
Subject:

plant display.docx

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