Sweet Home Louisiana: My brothers neighbours.

No sugar here either. Just a puny fence. What is the resident afraid of?

What can the fence prevent?

Is there a resident?

I think in this case Charles should have risked a shotgun blast to the face and checked. He’s probably dead and mummified and clutching a can of Coors. Or maybe the white shambling thing lurched out of the wet land and left nothing but two feet in two shoes. In front of the TV.

Then drank his Coors.

Charles didn’t risk it. We’ll never know!

But there are more neighbours to come!

Hugh

Sweet Home Louisiana: My brother’s neighbours

No chance of borrowing sugar here. And don’t go into the basement! It still lives down there! And waits!

Sweet Home Louisiana: My brother’s neighbours part three

There must be some sugar somewhere!

The devil’s claw in bloom.

Hugh Paxton’s Blog prides itself on sending unpredictable photos, and here’s one. The devils claw. The flower is bright and vulgar and has colour. The root is utter agony. It is the nastiest most painful root I have ever encountered. Everything about it is designed to cling to a hyena’s fur and spread its territory. I have two of these in my living room given to me by a Bushman near Ghanzi.

They gather dust. Who would try and dust them? Far too painful and complicated. A maze of spikes and torture!

Some people think they are medicinal. Chinese as usual.

Best left where they are – in the Kalahari. No miracle cures in a Devil’s Claw.

But as plants go, memorable! Look. Don’t touch!

Cheers! Hugh in Bangkok!

Andre’s Bit: Touché!

Hugh Paxton’s Blog thinks this clever! Funny of course but we expect that from Andre. It is also very close to the bone. By this I mean it has truth as its supporting ingredient.

Israelis are not always nice. I’ve met loads of bullying Israelis on the Asian backtrackers trails and they rapidly established a reputation for mobbing feeble hotel owners who were trying to cheat them and writing cryptic messages in Hebrew in the visitor’s books.

They weren’t good people, those Israeli travelers. They were young, had just left the army after conscription and they were clannish.

I wanted to like them but I couldn’t. I think the morning I really started disliking them was when I sat down in a café by 100 islands in north Luzon.

One of the Israelis threw a cup of coffee into the waiter’s face and shouted “This is Arab shit!”

There was then a furious argument about a water melon. The restaurant had arranged a picnic lunch for the Israel contingent and had sliced their water melon and stuck it in the freezer. A silly idea. You don’t freeze watermelons. But a well-intentioned mistake and no reason for a fight!

The Israelis have calmed down. But the Russians and Chinese are stepping in. What a rabble! They are being arrested en masse here for beating people to death with iron bars, kicking Buddha images and going to sleep in bed shops. They are meant to be on holiday!

I’ve wandered from the point! And not for the first time!

Andre, Israelis and Hamas.

From: Andre Gast [mailto:imagine1@iway.na]
Sent: Tuesday, March 10, 2015 3:47 PM
To: Hugh Paxton; Brigitte Alpers
Cc: Hayley Allen; Francois van der Merwe; Sugnet Smit
Subject: FW: Touché!

Paxton, you will enjoy this one!

HEY! Sooo clever!
Always admired the Israeli/Jewish race for their ingenuity & resolve.

The Best Gift

Written by To the Point News

During the recent cease-fire, the leader of the Palestinian terrorist organizationHamas, Khaled Mashal, sent a gift to the Prime Minister of Israel, BenjaminNetanyahu, in an elaborate box with a note.

After having the box checked for safety reasons, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu opened the box and saw that the content was human faeces.

He opened the note, handwritten in Arabic by Mr. Mashal, which said, "For you and the proud people of the Zionist Entity."

Mr. Netanyahu, literate in Arabic, pondered the note and decided how best to reciprocate.

He quickly did so by sending the Hamas leader a very pretty package with a personal note.

Mr. Mashal and the other leaders of Hamas were very surprised to receive the parcel and opened it very carefully suspecting that it might contain a bomb.

But to their surprise they saw that it contained a tiny computer chip

The chip was rechargeable with solar energy, had a 1.8 terabyte memory and could output a 3D hologram display capable of functioning in anytype of cellular phone, tablet or laptop.

It was one of the world’s most advanced technologies, with a tiny label, "Invented and produced in Israel ."

Mr. Netanyahu’s note, personally handwritten in Arabic, Hebrew, French, and English, stated very courteously…

"Every leader can only give the best his people can produce."

Media release: Beihai clampdown leads to significant reduction in marine turtle trafficking–TRAFFIC

Yes, Hugh Paxton Blog is back again and, yes it’s environment. Again. Turtles. China. Police busts. Arrests!

OK, Richard can’t spell ‘took’ but that’s just typo crime. We all indulge in that sort of careless frivolity. The point is that China is moving. When it moves properly statistics go into orbit! Deaths and famines, floods and foul water bowel problems usually. But if China goes green then that will be a sight to see!

Cheers from Bangkok!

Hugh

From: Richard Thomas [mailto:richard.thomas@traffic.org]
Sent: Tuesday, March 10, 2015 3:08 PM
To: Richard Thomas
Subject: Media release: Beihai clampdown leads to significant reduction in marine turtle trafficking–TRAFFIC

Dear Media Professional,

Please find below a media release concerning the outcomes of action taken in Beihai, China, against illegal marine turtle trade by enforcement agencies there after TRAFFIC drew their attention to the scale of the trade and confirmed the effectiveness of their actions in follow up surveys.

Attached is one of the retail outlets "before" and "after" this action tok place. I do trust you will find this information of interest. Best regards Richard

Beihai clampdown leads to significant reduction in marine turtle trafficking

Beihai, Guangxi, China, 10th March 2015—Illegal trade in marine turtles in Beihai has fallen dramatically following a suit of measures including a concerted enforcement clampdown, finds monitoring of the city’s markets by TRAFFIC.

Surveys this January found just 5 Hawksbill Turtle specimens concealed in a single retail outlet in Beihai. By comparison, in May 2014 TRAFFIC had found more than 80 Hawksbill specimens and thousands of Hawksbill shell products during just two days of monitoring.

Beihai had previously been identified by TRAFFIC as a hotspot in the illegal marine turtle trade. [(Market Forces – An Examination of Marine Turtle Trade in China and Japan (PDF, 1.5 MB)]

The May findings had been included with a letter sent by the Guangxi Management Authority for the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species of Wild Fauna and Flora (CITES MA) to the Beihai municipal government, urging them to take prompt action against the trade.

The latter responded with an intensive, multi-agency enforcement action against the marine turtle trade, involving the Industrial and Commercial Administration, Fishery Department, Forest and Security Police Forces. Between June and October 2014, 12 marine turtle cases were detected and 14 Hawksbill specimens and 959 Hawksbill shell products confiscated.

The action was coupled with public awareness raising initiatives, measures to improve the co-operation between different enforcement agencies and regular inspections of retail outlets in Beihai.

“TRAFFIC applauds the firm action taken by the authorities in Beihai, who are key to combatting the illegal marine turtle trade,” said Zhou Fei, Head of TRAFFIC’s China Office.

“The trade has clearly been suppressed four months after the intensive enforcement action took place and most dealers now clearly understand the trade is illegal and forbidden, but the challenge will be to maintain this situation into the foreseeable future.” said Zhou.

TRAFFIC hopes the latest success in Beihai will be replicated in other Chinese cities, in order to help reduce marine turtle trade at a national scale.

TRAFFIC’s work in combating illegal marine turtle trade in China is generously supported by the WWF Coral Triangle Programme and CEPF.

For more information，please contact:

Sammi Li, Communication Officer, TRAFFIC

Email: Xiaojia.li

Join ISIS NOW!

Hello little Muslims! May Allah be praised!

Now is the time to abandon your comfortable suburban homes in Europe and Australia and buy a one way ticket to Turkey. It might cost a lot but when you get there you will be enchanted by Istanbul’s cosmopolitan nature. Make notes. Take strategic photos. When we get there we will blow it up and all Kurds, Christians, as well as Shia will be put to the sword. All the Turks as well, obviously. Goes without saying. God be praised!

A couple of guys will shift you over the border and show you to your new accommodations. Ample, cold and tepid running water, thrifty food, lots of female slaves, prayers, and violence.

Pay: We don’t approve of money in ISIS because it isn’t very Islamic. You won’t get any. But you can steal watches and ornaments from people you behead.

FAQs: Will a drone strike obliterate me while I’m taking a crap in a stinking pit latrine while gusts of wind-blown dust lash my face and flies infest my unwashed hair?

ISIS: No.

FAQs: Will I arrive without any idea of how to use a weapon and suddenly meet an Iranian Republican Guard battalion smoking cigarettes with Kurds and Iraquis jeering at me, and all of them being battle-hardened?

ISIS: Of course not.

FAQs: If I change my mind, can I go home?

ISIS: No.

Sweet Home Louisiana: Another of my brother’s neighbours.

Hugh Paxton’s Blog suggests that if you are short of sugar this is another of my brother’s neighbours who won’t be of much help. He (or could be a she) might feel generous and share some ants. Sugar? Not a prospect. The gator (see earlier post) definitely wasn’t an option.

I suspect that this brother’s neighbours thing might turn out to be quite a lengthy series. He seems to have hundreds! And none have sugar you can borrow!

If you are new to this blog, beloved brother Charles left Japan for England then left England for Louisiana and settled into a wrecked trailer with his revered wife, Kimmie, and a swamp and forest. Far away but still audible are a clan of rednecks but they are too busy inbreeding to be much trouble.

My brother’s spread has a name I like!

Crawfish Springs.

Look forward to meeting more of my brother’s neighbours soon! Bring your own sugar!

Sooner, I hope, rather than later, we may receive a photo of a crawfish!

Cheers!

Hugh in Bangkok

PS It might be an idea to introduce you to some of MY neighbours. They are at times beautiful, bothersome, upon occasion potentially fatal. Annabel, my irritating but irreplaceable and most loved daughter almost picked up a white-lipped pit viper thinking it was the strap on her school bag. She really is muddle-headed at times. It was by the bag but was the wrong colour and school bag straps don’t rear up and assume strike pose. Jesus please us! She didn’t pick it up and nobody went to an early grave. I caught the snake assisted by lots of yelling from my gals which really pissed it off. Stuck it in a bucket and took it to pastures new. There’s a wasteland with a haunted house behind my back wall. I always put snakes there. They don’t come back. Lots of rats, food, places to lurk. Bout as good as it gets if you are a viper. Or a python. I have yet to see a King cobra. Those chaps look like trouble.

I’ll work on that ‘my neighbours’ project!

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