Andre’s Bit: Touché!


Hugh Paxton’s Blog thinks this clever! Funny of course but we expect that from Andre. It is also very close to the bone. By this I mean it has truth as its supporting ingredient.

Israelis are not always nice. I’ve met loads of bullying Israelis on the Asian backtrackers trails and they rapidly established a reputation for mobbing feeble hotel owners who were trying to cheat them and writing cryptic messages in Hebrew in the visitor’s books.

They weren’t good people, those Israeli travelers. They were young, had just left the army after conscription and they were clannish.

I wanted to like them but I couldn’t. I think the morning I really started disliking them was when I sat down in a café by 100 islands in north Luzon.

One of the Israelis threw a cup of coffee into the waiter’s face and shouted “This is Arab shit!”

There was then a furious argument about a water melon. The restaurant had arranged a picnic lunch for the Israel contingent and had sliced their water melon and stuck it in the freezer. A silly idea. You don’t freeze watermelons. But a well-intentioned mistake and no reason for a fight!

The Israelis have calmed down. But the Russians and Chinese are stepping in. What a rabble! They are being arrested en masse here for beating people to death with iron bars, kicking Buddha images and going to sleep in bed shops. They are meant to be on holiday!

I’ve wandered from the point! And not for the first time!

Andre, Israelis and Hamas.

From: Andre Gast []
Sent: Tuesday, March 10, 2015 3:47 PM
To: Hugh Paxton; Brigitte Alpers
Cc: Hayley Allen; Francois van der Merwe; Sugnet Smit
Subject: FW: Touché!

Paxton, you will enjoy this one!

HEY! Sooo clever!
Always admired the Israeli/Jewish race for their ingenuity & resolve.

The Best Gift

Written by To the Point News

During the recent cease-fire, the leader of the Palestinian terrorist organizationHamas, Khaled Mashal, sent a gift to the Prime Minister of Israel, BenjaminNetanyahu, in an elaborate box with a note.

After having the box checked for safety reasons, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu opened the box and saw that the content was human faeces.

He opened the note, handwritten in Arabic by Mr. Mashal, which said, "For you and the proud people of the Zionist Entity."

Mr. Netanyahu, literate in Arabic, pondered the note and decided how best to reciprocate.

He quickly did so by sending the Hamas leader a very pretty package with a personal note.

Mr. Mashal and the other leaders of Hamas were very surprised to receive the parcel and opened it very carefully suspecting that it might contain a bomb.

But to their surprise they saw that it contained a tiny computer chip

The chip was rechargeable with solar energy, had a 1.8 terabyte memory and could output a 3D hologram display capable of functioning in anytype of cellular phone, tablet or laptop.

It was one of the world’s most advanced technologies, with a tiny label, "Invented and produced in Israel ."

Mr. Netanyahu’s note, personally handwritten in Arabic, Hebrew, French, and English, stated very courteously…

"Every leader can only give the best his people can produce."

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