Jurassic World: Rather Old-Fashioned

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When Hugh Paxton’s Blog was a creative let’s make a movie sort of boy I fashioned plasticene models and moved them bit by bit and each was filmed and tendrils of green came down and then boots came on walking and a ghost came out of a boot and a wizard appeared. It was rather successful. Nobody thought it was real. But it tried to be realistic!

Everybody was a bit too busy to see the sequel and I thought “fair enough.” And I didn’t make another movie. I did try tanks but that was not a success.

I am sure that now my plasticene movie and even the tanks would be greeted with interest but they’d be historic. A bit creaky, a museum piece. Who needs to move things bit by bit and painstakingly photograph each movement?

JURASSIC WORLD doesn’t. Every dinosaur is as realistic as this sort of thing gets. The dinos are bigger. They aren’t jerky. They have thumpy feet to alarm you (Preston and Child in Tyrannosaur Canyon suggest that a T.Rex was effectively soundless, a muffled tread, a stealth predator not a big stampy thing) but let’s not waste time with a plot here. It is as engineered as the fanciful monsters.

The special effects are pushing success into overdose boredom. And there is a ludicrous attempt at human interest story woven in. Two sisters, grumpy kids, grumpy kids prove they love each other, sisters come together, love each other… The finale is …flat. Really flat. And the moment of mutual understanding between the velociraptor and the T Rex made me wait for a wizard to arrive on a rabbit-drawn-sled. With a barf bag.

Good for children.

My daughter liked it! Of course she did! But she had her doubts.

It was like that.

Hugh

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