Thai Days: Hair cut


Classic! My wife suggested I was looking stale and not the man she married. She suggested a hair cut. And I found the place. It’s not so hard to locate. You barge through a great fat lot of oil rich indolent Arabs milling around the Buttercup cake shop and you tell em to move. They stumble away looking feeble. There’s a Thai security looking at me with “Kill em!” in his eyes. We are in perfect accord. I shrug. His job is to protect them.

Move on for my hair cut. I like unattractive women. There’s something attractive about them!

She gave me a hair wash and cleaned my ears. It was a bit like a dentist’s visit. Lie down. Don’t move.

An hour later I was being pampered and was bored.

She said ‘What are you doing?”

Me: “I’m sitting here having my hair cut. What do you do?”

Her “ I cut your hair. I had no food today.”

That was just so good! I bought her lunch and the snaggle toothed receptionist, also starving, got lunch too. An Arab woman wrapped tight in black arrived and she wanted a shampoo. Her daughter was explaining that she had optical problems and I was busy gathering my hair from the floor for my bird nest plan. The old buzzard began unwrapping herself. Optical problems an understatement!

Me and the girls exchanged glances and our two hours were over. I ran away! There’s unattractive women and freakshows! The girls hadn’t had breakfast. Now time to deal with a different sort of client!


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