Hugh Paxton’s Blog is delighted to receive this latest post from TheGirl and thoroughly impressed by her casual use of the word ‘pond’. Once you start referring to the Atlantic as the pond you are almost on step one of the London English ladder!
I’m not sure what her two-way dictionary is teaching her but if she thinks it will help her communicate with anybody from East Anglia she is sadly mistaken. Mention pond to that lot and they’ll assuming you are referring to something with ducks on it or will ask you to help them rescue the moon from it with rakes. Trust me. I lived there for a year. One local pub had next to its dart board a timetable for dwile flunking. I asked the behind the bar what that was about. “Flunking dwiles,” he answered after long thought.
TheGirl has, of course, picked the vilest month of the year to begin her English adventure. No, not quite right, February is worse! Mind you her native New York looks like a good place not to be at the moment. Even Thailand is a tad chilly. Khun Mee is wearing a woolly bobble hat and at least five layers of clothing. She looks like a fat elf. My sister-in-law, Kimmie, knitted me something even more outré. I may be wearing it when I go to pick up my inconvenient daughter from another football fixture conveniently located several hours away.
If TheGirl has romantic yearnings I’d suggest she seeks out a place of warmth. Anybody mad enough to even consider a museum date at this time of year is either a museum curator or is an exhibit creaking around the vaults wrapped in bandages in search of Queen Imhotep’s escaped undead cat.
Suggested reading list for TheGirl vis a vis learning English: Anything written by Bill Bryson about US and England.
Suggested DVD viewing for London English language education: Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (or was that four smoking barrels?), Quadrophenia, The Long Good Friday, Anything with that ponce Hugh Grant in it. The Queen.
Best of luck to TheGirl! And my thanks for keeping us all informed of her adventures!
Stiff upper lip, darlin’!
From: TheReporterandTheGirlMINUSTheSuperMan! [mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org]
Sent: Sunday, January 24, 2016 10:58 PM
Subject: [New post] Lost in Translation
|TheGirl posted: "So I just bought this two-way dictionary, because apparently I do not speak English. So, I do not want to offend anyone and I also don’t want to be taken advantage of by unscrupulous shop-keepers. Well, look on the bright side, I can always add it to my "