Smelly shoes? Add a teabag!

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Hugh Paxton’s blog has occasionally been accused of smelling offensive. With good reason! But today’s tale takes thing beyond the normal miasma of garlic, stale beer and cigars.

While on a shopping trip to the rather classy Emporium shopping mall (full of awful looking people buying ludicrously over priced handbags) the Bangkok hospital waste water outlet ruptured. This was in my way but I suggested that it wasn’t as deep as it looked and waded through. I’m usually half right. And in this case I was half right. My daughter’s sewage expedition wasn’t as deep as it looked. My chosen path was considerably deeper than it looked. A new pot hole! Life! full of surprises! I won’t bore you with my quite frankly hideous shopping expedition. We stank our way past every brand name in central Bangkok.Annabel was in flip flops. Quick wash in the Ladies and the little pest emerged smelling of soap and roses. Utterly typical. Her shopping trip idea. Me with a squelching pair of unwashable but prone to flooding shoes.

When we got home, our vile beagle had defecated (and stolen more food). It was a dog turd mine field. And I hit most of em.

I’m a patient, one might even say genial, character but I began to look annoyed.

ANNABEL: “Why are are looking so stressed, Daddy?”

I explained that my feet might need a bit of a wash.

Her solution?

ANNABEL: “Daddeee, you are so dumb!Put teabags in your shoes!”

I think in this case anything in my shoes would have amplified the aroma issue so I bunged mine into the washing machine. But while I was waiting I tried the tea bag ploy on a couple of other not recently used shoes. It was rather successful! You stick a tea bag in your shoe and it does indeed refresh. There are limits. If you’ve walked through a hospital fluid hell pit, a tea bag cannot be expected to act as a cure-all but in normal circumstances this latest bit of my daughter’s wizardry does seem to work!

Smelly shoes? One tea bag per shoe overnight. I’d suggest straight forward English breakfast tea.

Annabel has no solution to the frankly obscene state of my socks and trousers. I think I’ll rely on washing powder for that. Oh, and before I forget Annabel suggests that if you get bitten in the face by a black mamba “You do not further agitate the snake.” I hope you’ll bear this in mind next time you are bitten in the face by a black mamba! Let me know how your tea bags go! And if you are smoking dope eat mangoes. Apparently it makes you even happier.

I asked her how she knew, then searched her bedroom, lifted her mattress. No dope!

But I found a book of helpful hints.

Cheers from Bangkok!

Hugh

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