Book Review: Never Fall Down is crap!

Hugh Paxton’s Blog just spent ten bucks on “Never Fall Down” written by Patricia McCormick. Archbishop Desmond Tutu was on the cover saying this was “One of the most inspiring and powerful books I’ve ever read.” Desmond needs his head testing. Patricia? She needs a writing course.

It’s crap!

The Khmer Rouge were an ugly blight. I cannot understand their behaviour or motivations, and the evil actions they undertook are just revolting. Those men and women, boys an girls, went beserk.

The Nazis shot their victims. Stalin’s men shot them or beat them to death or stuck them in gulags where they conveniently froze to death. Ghenghis Khan just killed everybody. Six months after the Khan exterminated Peking the streets were still slippery with fat.  People slithered on it and fell over. That was human fat. Fat from everybody who had been killed and burned.

The Khmer Rouge are not new.

But they are as foul as any other group that decides extermination of political opposition is expeditious.

Why is this book about the KR crap?

Because it has been written by a well-meaning Yank who opted for broken English. She tried to catch the tone, the muddled English, the staccato of Asia speak but she keeps intervening adding proper punctation, words that the guy would never say, and the whole literary experience is unreal. If you haven’t met a Cambodian and you think they can’t speak English then you haven’t met very many Cambodians.

Let’s try a page, picked at random:

“Again it’s a game of hiding; the rabbit, he peek out from behind the tree, then hide, then peek somewhere else. And I follow like not doing it myself., like I can watch myself doing myself doing this thing.”

 

“But the rabbit, now he on the other side of the river. He look at me with his jewel eye, and he make a daze in my mind; and now I am as strong as a hundred boy, as ox, as tank.”

The Cambodian, Arn Chorn-Pond  must have been a little bit more coherent! He’s currently founding lots of organisations and has already founded Children of War, the Cambodian living Arts and has won loads of international awards.

Many more better books out there on the KR horror. This book sucks.

Hugh

 

 

 

 

 

 

Birthday Hell

Hugh Paxton’s Blog thinks Charlie Clarke did it best on his blog. Charlie lamented the fact that everybody had a winning bout of  sexual intercourse at the same time meaning that a wave of babies arrived at the the same time and taking this further all had birthday parties at the same time. This involves a tsunami of birthday parties that paraylyse working life and involves a grotesque assault on bank accounts. Charlie was right.

Today is a Thursday. I have to collect my daughter from a birthday party in an ice rink on the other side of Bangkok. Before I do that I have to find a Playmobil pony. The expedition will take at least five hours.

Minibus to Promh Phong (30 minutes). Quest for pony (No time estimate). My bet on that horse race is that they will have run out of small horses. Further quest for pony(no time estimate). Assuming I’m a winner then I get the sky train. Seven stops later (rush hour) it’s taxi time from Udom Suk station to Mega BangNa. What a treat!   Then we have to get home and I’ll have a tired and grumpy daughter throwing up.

 

Tomorrow morning – yipee! – another birthday party! 9.45 AM start. That’s in Siam Paragon. Neatly seats me in the rush hour again. And I’ll have to think of something to do for the three hour party duration. No point in coming home. That would take an hour and a half. Then I’d have to go back. No point. I’ll bring a book or two and stare at a cup of Starbucks.

After retrieving my daughter (we should be back by 3 PM) there is another party starting at four o’clock.

I have to cook something for it.

Charlie had it right. Mothers and Fathers breed (it’s what we are designed for) but think tactics. Space the produce out. Even Annabel, my daughter, is finding all these parties a bit of a cluster.

On a brighter note lots of Annabel’s friends are leaving Thailand. But with light comes darkness. She’s making lots of new friends.

 

Argh! Hugh. Off to find a plastic overpriced pony!

 

 

Thai Days: Ordeal by Hard Drive and Shrimp!

Hugh Paxton’s Blog has a few issues with a removeable hard drive. It has taken thousands of my photos for safe keeping and doesn’t want to give them back.

I took the horrid traitor  to Fortune Plaza and can thouroughly recommend the vast complex of shops and exits you can’t find  if you want to buy telescopes, cameras, computers, security stuff, drones, almost everything…just don’t take them your hard drive.  I visited 20 shops, met twenty staff (times four – everybody wanted to help) but after three hours I tired of the last rueful shrug as failure again reared its familiar head.

 

Beer and lunch I decided! The Fortune Plaza has many floors. Like most Bangkok commercial retail buildings the food is generally either below ground or at the top of the building. I went down.

 

I knew things would go wrong as soon as I took a seat.  It was the girls with menus. Three. Looking at me closely. The menu was bilingual and came with great photos! But while I watched the menu I also watched the girls. Then a Thai guy smoothly slid in and now we were five!

“I’ll try the fried shrimp in shrimp sauce with added shrimp. No fish livers. And no ‘swamp weeds’.

I have often taken the role of a cinema screen. White guys, foreigners, me – the whole caboodle. Anybody new in town attracts interest.

My shrimp arrived and there was interest. I was still a five star attraction.

First spoon and I thought “Arrgh! This cannot be! It’s hotter than hell at high noon!! ”

I ate it.

Ate the lot. They watched! They watched! There were really good bits! The shrimps were superb! But it was a mine field. Any second you could find a huge chunk of garlic in your gob. Or something red and ready for hell!

I’d rate this excursion as less than five star.

Cheers from Bangkok!

 

Hugh!

 

 

Thai Days: The race (Bangkok Traffic)

T: This looks interesting, Bob!

B: Certainly does, Trev!

T: Honda, Bob, nosing into the starting lane. First contender!

B: Nice looking Honda. Swift lines. Only a few dents in the rear. Engine sounds healthy, Trev. This one could put on a bit of a trot.

T: Bit bulky Bob. Might work against it in the tight lanes. Ah, another runner, Bob! Green taxi, yellow stripes! He’s positioned himself well! Right in front of the Honda.

B: Oh dear! Don’t like the look of this new  lot; wonky, overloaded, must have thirteen passengers. Looks like illegal immigrants. I’m thinking Lao.

T: Cambodians, Bob. Look at em! Stands out a mile!

B: Lao!

T: Bob, it’s started! The race is on! What a battle! The Honda has moved an inch at least. At least an inch! In the first minute! The taxi is trailing. The driver’s asleep. The Cambodians are blocked by a bus. Bad luck there.

B: Certainly is. No, hang on Trev, look! The driver has opted for the pavement. He’s leaving the road! He’s going for it! Yes! What a performance! He’s ignoring the terrified pedestrians and is making serious progress! What a performer!

T: Won’t last, Bob. There’s street food stalls ahead. He’ll have to rejoin the road or they’ll boil him in Tom Yan Goon. How’s the Honda doing?

B: Trev, it’s inspiring to watch! Only ten minutes into this race and the Honda has advanced by no less than ten inches! That’s an inch a minute!

T: My immigrants are out of the race.

B: Souped?

T: Fraid so. You shouldn’t mess with Bangkok street vendors, Bob. Oh no!

B: Oh no what, Trev?

T: They are force feeding him those grey slimy catfish balls!

B: Goes with the game, Trev. He shouldn’t have tried for the pavement. Bad call. Oh, hey! We’ve got some action here! The Honda has moved forwards…we are TALKING SIX INCHES! And IT”S NECK AND NECK! THE TAXI DRIVER HAS WOKEN UP AND THIS JUST LOOKS CLOSE! YES THE TAXI HAS SWERVED DANGEROUSLY INTO THE NEXT LANE AND IS MAKING ITS MOVE!

FOUR HOURS LATER:

B: Trev, are you still covering this thing?

T: I’m taking a break, Bob. Lunch at The Robin Hood.  Pie and peas. Not a bad pint. You still on the job?

B: I’m at the Kit Kat Klub with Miaow. Got a few scratches but overall, Trev, I’m satisfied.

T: Where’s the finishing line?

B: Trev, mate, they’re probably still near the starting line.

T: Guess we should get back to work.

B: How you plan to get there, Trev?

T: Scooter taxi. The same way you got to the Hood. Life threatening and the guys look like gangsters but if you climb on the back and don’t fall off they weave their motorbikes through the traffic jams like magicians. Just don’t fall off.

….

B: And this is an amazing climax to a race that has held the attention of less than millions! The Honda is at least – AT LEAST! half a kilomter away from its destination! The taxi is out of the race. It caught fire in a shocking way that we missed because we weren’t there. Eyewitnesses say they didn’t see anything because they don’t want any contact with the police.

T: Can’t fault their reasoning there, Bob.

Bob and Trev – It’s been emotional. Over and out.

.

Andre’s Choice (and a good one): Thomas Sowell

Hugh Paxton’s Blog is complete accord with Andre’s intro.

Andre’s intro!

When you read quotes like these don’t you wish you could talk back? Maybe not to argue but to discuss further?

Some great wisdom from Thomas Sowell, who is one of the greatest intellectual

minds of our time. He is also an economics professor at Stanford University.

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Leonie’s View : Privileged Medical Alert – PLEASE READ

Hugh Paxton’s Blog was frankly horrified to receive this medical alert from Blog correspondent, Leonie. I had no idea the disease had surfaced in Namibia. I’d simply never come across it during my time there. I thought everybody, I assumed everybody, was immune. All my employees were. But in the modern world these things can spread so quickly. With air travel it is said nobody is less than 24 hours away from a potentially deadly virus. But don’t despair! With Leonie’s dire warning there come glimmers of hope and useful advice.

Medical Alert – PLEASE READ The Centre for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically. This virus is called Weekly Overload Recreational Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues or anyone else via any means whatsoever – DO NOT TOUCH IT!!! This virus will wipe out your private life entirely. If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises. Take two good friends to the nearest liquor store and purchase one or both of the antidotes – Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system. You should immediately forward this medical alert to five friends.. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is, sadly, controlling your life. Get help immediately.

itevomcid

Beer before mathematics!

Hugh Paxton’s Blog wants to try this 3200BC Sumerian beer! Described as “full of bacteria, warm and slightly sour” Ohio’s Great Lakes Brewing Company has teamed up with archaeologists from the University of Chicago to reproduce a beer brewed using clay vessels and wooden spoons in Mesopotamia slightly before anybody came up with the idea of mathematics. Some academics believe that beer was a motivating factor behind Sumerians adopting agriculture. A lot of research has gone into identifying this beer recipe and there are still some fuzzy areas of uncertainty. But the cuneiform texts of the poetic 1,800 BC Hymn  to Ninkasi, the Sumerian Goddess of Beer, have proved helpful.

The beer is still a work in progress. Nate Gibbon, a Great Lakes beer creator spent long hours fuelling a ceramic vat with slow burning manure while adding coriander and cardamom but after two days the brew was too sour. He plans to sweeten his next endeavours with honey and dates.

 

 

Thai Days: Oh Gawd! Now it is The White Masks!

Hugh Baxton’s Blog wishes to introduce you to a new force in Thai street politics. The yellow shirts you may remember occupied thei nternational   airport and stayed there for a very long time, the red shirts occupied a key intersection in central Bangkok and stayed there even longer (before setting fire to the CentralWorld department store), the multi-coloured shirts didn’t occupy anything, the men in black shot people, the black shirts wore suits and tie so nobody gave a hoot, the pink shirts barely raised a ripple (just a snigger or two) but now entering the stage we have…the White Masks!

You remember that Guy who tried to blow up England’s Houses of Parliament? They are wearing that guy’s mask. Little beard.  Slightly blank and frightening face. The White Masks are determined to oust the government.

Everybody who puts on a shirt, unless it is multi-coloured or pink, or involves a tie, seems to want to oust the govenment. The White Masks selected a familiar venue for their major protest.

CentralWorld.

It must be frustrating managing a department store that routinely acts as a scene for political malcontents and riots. CentralWorld erected metal barriers to keep the White Masks at bay but the White Masks removed them and demonstrated anyway.  The White Masks, advised by their V for Thailand Facebook site came equipped with bottled water and first aid kits.

I guess the water was to prevent dehydration and the first aid kits were designed to heal wounds should pro-govt Red Shirts pitch in to enliven events. The White Masks wisely brought umbrellas. Torrential rain. Photos of the affair mainly showed belligerent umbrellas. The Govt issued a security warning banning the masks but that really doesn’t work. Banning anything in Thailand only encourages it. The police were out in force and confiscated loud speakers. The Guys moved on to distribute leaflets in the Bangkok Art and Culture Museum. Probably more visitors than the museum receives in a month. Or a year.

White Masks gathered in 37 other locations throughout much of central and northern Thailand on Sunday. The CentralWorld assembly was the largest (3,000 or so) and some masks were worn in protests overseas in Sydney and in Hong Kong. A few Red Shirts rolled out in Chiang Rai to boo, but there wasn’t any real trouble, nobody threw durians or rotten tomatoes and no hospital beds were necessary.

What’s all the fuss about ask you? Answer I, one man.  Former PM Thaksin, a very rich chap, guilty of the usual stuff. Corruption. Embezzlement. Mass murder. Owning an English football club. He’s been sentenced to two years in prison here but doesn’t fancy the prospect. He also wants to continue running the country. His daughter is currently doing it for him.

My suggestion, lame and naive, is that Thaksin should come home, face the music, do two years (if you’ve got money you can buy anything in a Thai prison, a four poster bed, smack, wine women and karaoke) and then when he has paid his debt to society he can come out clean and return to his dirty tricks.

But he won’t. And while he won’t the shirts will get more colourful (although they’re running out of colours – pink fachrissakes!) and the mask sellers will thrive. Guess it’s good for business if you print shirts, make masks and sell first aid kits for self administration and  rotting fruit for use as projectiles.

Cheers from Bangkok!

Hugh

 

Haze? I see no haze!

Hugh Paxton’s Blog notes with despair, the vanishing of the Malaysian capital as it joins Singapore in filthy air that originates in wanton, reckless burning of what is left of Sumatra’s fractured precious natural forests by palm oil interests.

Singapore is not normally outspoken but tempers are frayed and diplomacy is giving way to an unusual phenomenon – vocal, angry Singaporeans. An Indonesian government statement calling Singapore’s concerns “silly” added fuel to the fire.

Malaysia’s blood pressure is rising, too. KL currently looks like a Turner seascape. Ghostly, ethereal, hard to see with clarity. The Twin Towers are barely visible. The air quality is dangerous. No other word for it. Smog levels (gauged by the average Pollution Standard Index) get unhealthy when they lurch up to readings of between 101 and 200. Southern Malaysia’s PSI reading just hit 700. Singapore’s nastiest reading was 400 last Friday. It is easing slightly but weeks of face masks still lie ahead.

A state of emergency exists in Johor. 200 schools have been closed. Face mask sales are soaring.

Indonesia is toughing it out, but looking shifty and closing airports because pilots can’t see the runways. They’ve sent in the fire brigade and helicopters dumping water to put out the fires that are burning not just the forests but that are lurking below ground in peat waiting to re-surface and re-ignite.

As you sow so shall you reap. Singapore is going for its own companies that own palm oil arsonist enterprises in Sumatra. Malaysia has its own share of guilty parties and probably won’t do anything about them. But it is snarling at Indonesia.

Some haze has reached southern Thailand but everybody down there is too busy with the Islamist insurgency/bombings/drive by shootings to worry about lung damage.

So that’s OK! And who gives a damn?

If Jakarta doesn’t grasp the nettle, reign in its forest destroyers, this very same thing will happen next year. And the year after. It will stop eventually. When every scrap of biodiverse irreplaceable natural forest has been turned to ash and replaced with ecologically sterile palm oil plantation.

A sad quote to round this dismal story off:

“There’s good news. I can assure you there has been no forest burning in Sumatra for the last two years.”

An Indonesian UN employee. I won’t name him. But Hugh Paxton’s Blog heard him. Not on the radio. Not on TV. Face to face. He said it. And, most worryingly, he believed it. Worrying.

My hope is that Singapore has finally had enough and will remain angry, will hound its palm oil barons and will whip ASEAN into life. KL? Maybe they will. Yes, if things persist, maybe they will.

Wild Open Eye is keeping its eye open: volunteering for wildlife this summer with Eden Rivers Trust

Hugh Paxton’s Blog rates the Eden Valley in northern England as one of the most beautiful parts of my country. And here’s a great chance to get to know it better! (Or meet it for the first time!)

New post on Wild Open Eye Volunteering for wildlife this summer with Eden Rivers Trust by wildopeneye Heron on the river by Andy Luck Click the logo to visit Eden Rivers Trust website There are lots of ways to enjoy your local river for free – while also helping river wildlife to thrive. Eden Rivers Trust is offering a variety of volunteer opportunities over the summer for anyone interested in having a great day out on the river. Examples of the activities on offer include surveying fish and crayfish populations in the tributaries of the River Eden. Helping with surveys does not require any special skills or experience and all necessary training is provided. It just requires a willingness to spend all day outside and a general level of fitness. It involves wading in shallow waters, with waders provided by the Trust if you don’t have your own! Volunteers getting wet, researching and conserving. Eden Rivers Trust photo Surveys of native wildlife show how these animals are faring and give an indication of the health of the river. They also identify where work is needed to improve the condition of the river for its wildlife. Removing invasive plants such as Himalayan balsam from around lakes and rivers is another of the voluntary tasks on offer. This takes place at different locations in the Eden Valley including around Ullswater and in Carlisle. Again no specialist knowledge is required and great satisfaction can be gained from knowing you have cleared a nuisance from the countryside. David Greaves, Cumbria University student, said, “Volunteering with Eden Rivers Trust is great! You go to beautiful places on the river and see wildlife close up. You meet some really interesting people and feel like you are doing something worthwhile for the environment. I love it!” To get involved you can contact the Trust office at Newton Rigg College, Penrith on tel. no. 01768 866788 or via email office . For more details of the Trust’s volunteering opportunities visit http://trust.edenriverstrust.org.uk/events.html wildopeneye | 20/06/2013 at 2:47 pm | Tags: activities for summer holidays, river conservation, surveying fish and crayfish populations, Surveys of native wildlife, The Eden Rivers Trust, volunteering for wildlife | Categories: Recording wildlife sightings, River Conservation | URL: http://wp.me/p10R9B-g3 Comment See all comments Unsubscribe or change your email settings at Manage Subscriptions.Trouble clicking? Copy and paste this URL into your browser: http://wildopeneye.wordpress.com/2013/06/20/volunteering-for-wildlife-this-summer-with-eden-rivers-trust/ Thanks for flying with WordPress.com