Uganda’s Treatment of Gays Contravenes 1948 Human Rights Declaration

February 9, 2010 by Hugh Paxton

The General Assembly of the United Nations adopted and proclaimed the Universal Declaration of Human Rights back in 1948, and here we are in 2010 with the Ugandan judicial system singling out homosexuals for life imprisonment on the grounds of their sexual orientation and medical conditions – that appears to be a very nasty and clear contravention of articles 2, 3, 7, 12 and 28 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

Article 2.

* Everyone is entitled to all the rights and freedoms set forth in this Declaration, without distinction of any kind, such as race, colour, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or other status. Furthermore, no distinction shall be made on the basis of the political, jurisdictional or international status of the country or territory to which a person belongs, whether it be independent, trust, non-self-governing or under any other limitation of sovereignty.

Article 3.

* Everyone has the right to life, liberty and security of person.

Article 7.

* All are equal before the law and are entitled without any discrimination to equal protection of the law. All are entitled to equal protection against any discrimination in violation of this Declaration and against any incitement to such discrimination.

Article 12.

* No one shall be subjected to arbitrary interference with his privacy, family, home or correspondence, nor to attacks upon his honour and reputation. Everyone has the right to the protection of the law against such interference or attacks.

Article 28.

* Everyone is entitled to a social and international order in which the rights and freedoms set forth in this Declaration can be fully realized.

Should pressure be brought against Uganda for their flagrant contravention of internationally recognized human rights legislation?
What do you all think?

If you think human rights law should apply for Ugandans too, please help by signing the Avaaz petition below:

Dear friends,

Uganda’s government is considering a law that makes being gay punishable by prison or death. Brave Ugandan citizens are appealing to us for help to stop this persecution:

Ugandan Avaaz member Frank must hide his face.
“I could be facing violence, prison and even death for who I am. Across Uganda people are bravely speaking out, but this law will put us in serious danger. Please, sign the Avaaz petition and tell others to stand with us — if there’s a huge global response, our government will see that Uganda will be internationally isolated by this proposed law, and strike it down.”

This is an urgent appeal to all of us, sent by Frank, a gay Ugandan Avaaz member.

Widespread condemnation has led Uganda’s Parliament to review the proposed legislation — a law that would make being gay punishable by prison, even death.

Our actions now could save Frank’s life, and many others. Click below to sign the petition and send it on to friends:

http://www.avaaz.org/en/uganda_for_tolerance_1/?cl=472341625&v=5360

The bill proposes life imprisonment for anyone convicted of having same-sex relations, or even intending to do so. It imposes the death penalty for ’serial offender’ homosexuals and gay people living with AIDS.

Members of the public face up to three years in jail if they fail to report any homosexual activity to police within 24 hours. And NGOs working with the gay community on HIV prevention or human rights could be imprisoned for up to 7 years for ‘promoting homosexuality’.

The bill’s advocates claim that it defends Uganda’s culture. But its strongest critics come from within Uganda.

The Dean of Law at Makerere University argues that the bill undermines family life and violates Uganda’s Constitution. The Archbishop of York, born in Uganda, has condemned the bill as ‘victimising,’ and the Reverend Canon Gideon Byamugisha — a Ugandan Anglican priest — has written to Avaaz saying:

“This bill is not about protecting Ugandan culture and traditions. On the contrary it is violating our cultures, traditions and religious values that teach against intolerance, injustice, hatred and violence. We need laws to protect people, not ones that will humiliate, ridicule, persecute and kill them en masse. Thank you for Avaaz’s campaigning for safer, healthier, more peaceful, and more productive lives for ALL Ugandans.”

Click below to sign the petition, and pass this message on to friends and family. Across Africa and the world, let’s send a united message that we reject persecution and denial of human rights everywhere:

http://www.avaaz.org/en/uganda_for_tolerance_1/?vl

In Uganda, a group of ultra-conservative religious extremists have built a highly vocal, well-organised and funded PR effort supporting this bill. But a new alliance of Church leaders, health services, gay groups, and human rights lawyers are mobilising to respond, and they say our support is crucial.

In the last three years, five African countries have criminalised gay people. By rejecting this dangerous law, and demonstrating the breadth of opposition to it, we can help set a crucial precedent. Let’s stand with Uganda’s Frank and Canon Byamugisha and oppose this bill:

http://www.avaaz.org/en/uganda_for_tolerance_1/?vl

With hope and determination,

Alice, Ricken, Ben, Paul, Benjamin, Pascal, Raluca, Graziela and the whole Avaaz team

PS: Although people around the world hold many views about issues relating to sexuality and gay rights, we are united in opposing this threatened mass violation of basic rights. In a poll of the Avaaz community, 90% of members urged Avaaz to launch this campaign (only 3.8% opposed it), including 89.4% support in Africa and 91.9% support in Latin America.

Our strength is in our numbers — please forward this information to anyone who might want to join:

http://www.avaaz.org/en/uganda_for_tolerance_1/?vl

SOURCES

African letter to Ugandan President to throw out Anti-homosexual bill: Uganda — Anti-homosexuality bill violates human rights:
http://www.africafiles.org/article.asp?ID=22761

Ugandan church leader brands anti-gay bill ‘genocide’:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/katine/2009/dec/04/gideon-byamugisha-homosexuality-bill

Uganda’s Anti-Homosexual bill:
http://wthrockmorton.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/anti-homosexuality-bill-2009.pdf

Uganda anti-gay bill may change, says MP Bahati:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/8472085.stm

The U.S. Christian Right and the Attack on Gays in Africa:
http://www.publiceye.org/magazine/v24n4/us-christian-right-attack-on-gays-in-africa.html

Human Rights Impact Assessment of Uganda’s Anti-homosexuality Bill By Sylvia Tamale, The Dean of Law at Uganda’s Makerere University:
http://www.zeleza.com/blogging/african-affairs/human-rights-impact-assessment-ugandas-anti-homosexuality-bill-sylvia-tamal

—————-

Want to support Avaaz? We’re entirely funded by donations and receive no money from governments or corporations. Our dedicated online team ensures even the smallest contributions go a long way — donate here.

Book Sales: SS General, Spanish Erotica, Paris Drains and Orang Utans.

February 8, 2010 by Hugh Paxton

No, this is not another plug for my extraordinarily interesting (if badly edited and under performing) novel, Homunculus.

This is an account of Annabel’s book shop.

The book shop opened last week on our stoep. The shopkeeper, Annabel, our six year old daughter, was in charge and, as her attention span is on a par with an amnesiac goldfish with urgent business elsewhere, initial sales were sporadic, unsupervised and shop lifting regular.

I arrested one guy with a copy of ‘Paris Underground’. This Blog hasn’t reviewed the book for several reasons. Principally because it is in French. And I’m English.

Other reasons?

It is a PhD on Paris sewer cleaning techniques, past and present, written by an American drainage expert.

I think the clincher is that I bought it in a Sewer Museum near the Eiffel tower in a sewer souvenir shop.

In a sewer.

And it still has an unusual smell.

I am nothing if not compassionate and I asked our shop lifter why he wanted a book on Paris sewers.

He apologised for the misunderstanding and said that he’d left a dollar.

I checked. He had. He was released from custody.

I had misjudged the Owambo guy. But I was intrigued. Why this book?

“I want to learn English. This book is serious.”

“It’s in French! And you are holding it upside down! Can you read?”

“I will soon, with God’s help.”

“God help you. Take it. And have your dollar back.”

SATURDAY: A good day for book sales. National parks wardens, consultants etc. turned up. All dedicated nature conservationists. Michael, former chief warden of Etosha NP, snagged 60 books. Everybody paid more than the asking price. Nice people.

TODAY

Clientelle grew dramatically. Our bookworms this time were Afrikaaner.

Francois turned up and he grabbed handfuls. Billy, who is of English descent, got some freebies. The scrounging B*****d! But he fixed this and that. And he was Billy. We love him!

Frikkie went for sixty seven books.

Frikkie looks like the shark hunter in Jaws. Quint, or whatever his name was.

I hadn’t guessed he was a reader. He said he was, and so was his mother.

“These are for my mother,” he explained.

Lucky old Mummy!

She gets a fair amount of moderate to good crime novels, the ultimate collection of books outlining turtle and bird conservation in the Maldives and the Seychelles, a thorough guide to WW II Japanese ship wrecks in the Palau archipelago, a text on invasive ant eradication on Christmas Island (Indian Ocean), a map of Munich, Sven Hassel’s ‘SS General’, a description of various Vietnamese National Parks, a thorough introduction to tropical fruits in Florida, and ‘The Ages of Lulu.’

Lulu, I should advise, is sexually explicit and involves every form of inventive sexual activity and depravity imaginable.

Hope Frikkie’s Mummy enjoys this mixed feast!

The guys paid up. Drank a lot of coffee. Smoked a lot. Had mock fist fights with daughter, Annabel. She loves brawling. They told a few racist jokes. Helped a black guy who was having trouble with a ladder.

Some White Racists here really like Blacks. I’ll deal with this confusing scenario in a future post.

I’ll close now.

It was a nice Namibian morning!

Sleep well! Stay Safe!

Hugh

I Think My Daughter has Just Seen a Ghost.

February 7, 2010 by Hugh Paxton

Annabel (aged 6) asked me who the wrinkled old black man wearing a red hat and a blue shirt was.

I said he wasn’t.

She answered that he was.

OK. A possible intruder.

I did the usual thing. I found a club, did a swift round of our premises, checked with the street security guards.

Nothing wrinkly, black, no sign of a red hat, blue shirt.

My wife is pragmatic and after I’d checked the outside bath and toilet and everywhere else, she informed our daughter, Annabel, that there wasn’t anybody on the premises.

I said the same. All was well.

But I remember the previous owner talking about a ghost. She didn’t dwell on the subject but she mentioned it.

Annabel’s a truthful little girl. She was worried that it might have been a bad guy breaking in. Zero chance of bad guys in my house. Twelve men will kill them. And why not?

I didn’t talk about ghosts in our house with Annabel.

But I think she saw him, or it. Or whatever the ghost was.

The main thing is it didn’t walk off with the TV!

So I’m quite happy to share space with a ghost.

This Blog Welcomes Ghost Stories!

Cheers!

Hugh

What Are The Odds?

February 7, 2010 by Hugh Paxton

The excellent Steve Hollier has dug up a lot more fun material for our delectation! Enjoy.
Meteorites: The odds of being hit by one

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/1525235/What-chance-of-being-hit-by-a-meteorite-Dont-ask-a-scientist.html

http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/badastronomy/2009/06/12/a-boy-claims-he-was-hit-by-a-meteorite/

http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/badastronomy/2008/10/13/death-by-meteorite/

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20071122054119AAktabY

What Are the Odds: [this relates to Americans but similar odds also relate to Namibians and Brits for most things...
The Odds
Ever wondered?

Odds of getting a hole in one: 5,000 to 1

Odds of getting canonized: 20,000,000 to 1

Odds of being an astronaut: 13,200,000 to 1

Odds of winning an Olympic medal: 662,000 to 1

Odds of an American speaking Cherokee: 15000 to 1

Odds that a person between the age of 18 and 29 does NOT read a newspaper regularly: 3 to 1 [in the USA]

Odds that an American adult does not want to live to age 120 under any circumstances: 3 to 2

Odds of injury from fireworks: 19,556 to 1

Odds of injury from shaving: 6,585 to 1

Odds of injury from using a chain saw: 4,464 to 1

Odds of injury from mowing the lawn: 3,623 to 1

Odds of fatally slipping in bath or shower: 2,232 to 1

Odds of drowning in a bathtub: 685,000 to 1

Odds of being killed sometime in the next year in any sort of transportation accident: 77 to 1

Odds of being killed in any sort of non-transportation accident: 69 to 1

Odds of being struck by lightning: 576,000 to 1

Odds of being killed by lightning: 2,320,000 to 1

Odds of being murdered: 18,000 to 1 [in the USA]

Odds of getting away with murder: 2 to 1

Odds of being the victim of serious crime in your lifetime: 20 to 1

Odds of dating a supermodel: 88,000 to 1

Odds of being considered possessed by Satan: 7,000 to 1

Odds that a first marriage will survive without separation or divorce for 15 years: 1.3 to 1

Odds that a celebrity marriage will last a lifetime: 3 to 1

Odds of getting hemorrhoids: 25 to 1

Odds of being born a twin in North America: 90 to 1

Odds of being on plane with a drunken pilot: 117 to 1

Odds of winning a straight up on a single number in online roulette: 37 to 1

Odds of having your identity stolen: 200 to 1

Odds of dating a millionaire: 215 to 1

Odds of dating a supermodel: 88,000 to 1

Odds of finding out your child is a genius: 250 to 1

Odds of getting a royal flush in poker on first five cards dealt: 649,740 to 1

Odds of spotting a UFO today: 3,000,000 to 1

Odds of becoming a saint: 20,000,000 to 1

Odds of a meteor landing on your house: 182,138,880,000,000 to 1

Chance of an American home having at least one container of ice cream in the freezer: 9 in 10.

Chance of dying from any kind of injury during the next year: 1 in 1,820

Chance of dying from intentional self-harm: 1 in 9,380 [in the USA]

Chance of dying from an assault: 1 in 16,421

Chance of dying from a car accident: 1 in 18,585

Chance of dying from any kind of fall: 1 in 20,666

Chance of dying from accidental drowning: 1 in 79,065

Chance of dying from exposure to smoke, fire, and flames: 1 in 81,524

Chance of dying in an explosion: 1 in 107,787

Chance that Earth will experience a catastrophic collision with an asteroid in the next 100 years: 1 in 5,000

Chance of dying in such a collision: 1 in 20,000

Chance of dying from exposure to forces of nature (heat, cold, lightning, earthquake, flood): 1 in 225,107

Chance of dying in an airplane accident: 1 in 354,319

Chance of dying from choking on food: 1 in 370,035

Chance of dying in a terrorist attack while visiting a foreign country: 1 in 650,000

Chance of dying in a fireworks accident: 1 in 1,000,000

Chance of dying from overexertion, travel or privation: 1 in 1,428,377

Chance of dying from food poisoning: 1 in 3,000,000

Chance of dying from legal execution: 1 in 3,441,325

Chance of dying from contact with hot tap water: 1 in 5,005,564

Chance of dying from parts falling off an airplane: 1 in 10,000,000

Chance of dying from ignition or melting of nightwear: 1 in 30,589,556

Chance of dying from being bitten by a dog: 1 in 700,000

Chance of dying from contact with a venomous animal or plant: 1 in 3,441,325

Chance of dying from being bitten or struck by mammals (other than dogs or humans): 1 in 4,235,477

Chance of winning a bingo game where 100 players manage four cards each: 1 in 100

Chance of dying from a mountain lion attack in California: 1 in 32,000,000

Chance of dying from a shark attack: 1 in 300,000,000

Chance of having a stroke: 1 in 6

Chance of dying from heart disease: 1 in 3

Chance of getting arthritis: 1 in 7

Chance of suffering from asthma or allergy diseases: 1 in 6

Chance of getting the flu this year: 1 in 10

Chance of contracting the human version of mad cow disease: 1 in 40,000,000

Chance of dying from SARS in the United States: 1 in 100,000,000

Chance of American man developing cancer in his lifetime: 1 in 2

Chance of an American woman developing cancer in her lifetime: 1 in 3

Chance of getting prostate cancer: 1 in 6

Chance of getting breast cancer: 1 in 9

Chance of getting colon / rectal cancer: 1 in 26

Chance of beating pancreatic or liver cancer: 1 in 9

Chance of beating thyroid or testicular cancer: 9 in 10

Animals Used as Weapons: Cat Bombs, War Pigs, land Mine Detecting Rats, Killer Dolphins, Pigeon Guided Missiles, Military Insects and Bat Bombers:

Cartoon of bat bomber

Cartoon of bat bomber

All true and here is the link to see for yourselves: http://www.cynical-c.com/?p=7820

Fierce squirrel with rocket launcher

Your Nuts Or Your Life!


Nuts: Almonds and pistachios are the only nuts mentioned in the Bible!

Penguins as Promised.

February 7, 2010 by Hugh Paxton

Jackass penguins

Jackass penguins


THE JACKASS.

Namibia might strike you as an unlikely penguin-watching destination. But penguins there are.

Not as many as you’ll find in South Africa, true, (Cape Point, the infamous Robben Island and the stretch of coast extending east from Cape Town being prime penguin territory), but Namibia does have penguins.

Commonly referred to as Jackass penguins, due to their raucous donkey-like braying, the African penguin is an engaging bird, ungainly on land, and very graceful in the water.

A FEW JACKASS FACTOIDS:

Diet: Anchovies, sardines, squid and sandcord (an eel-like fish).

Marine predators: Sharks, Seals, Octopi, Killer Whales.

Shore-based predators: Cape Clawless Otters, Spotted Genets, Seagulls, feral dogs and Mongoose (the plural of mongoose is mongoose not mongeese, though I feel it should be!).

If a Namibian penguin is seriously off course it can also be hunted by jackals and brown hyaenas.

If it is very seriously off course (and extremely unlucky) it might even bump into a lion. In northern Namibia lions occasionally do a bit of beach combing in search of seals, stranded whales and anything else the ocean throws their way.

PEOPLE AND PENGUINS: Cape Town owes its existence to penguins.

Established as a provisioning base for ships of the Dutch East India Company, the provisioners initially found themselves desperately short of provisions. They turned to penguins and ate about a million of them in three decades.

“Aw Ma! Not penguin again!”

In Namibia, aboriginal “strandlopers” (beach combers who constructed tents with whale bone struts and penguin/seal skin covers) also used them as food and material for the manufacture of suits.

Eggs were harvested commercially in South Africa until the 1960’s.

ASSAULT BY PENGUIN.

Penguins have also served as impromptu weapons. Rival guano collectors on Namibia’s off shore islands fought territorial battles during the ‘white gold rush’ (described in an earlier post on this Blog). The combatants used fists, boots, clubs, knives and, in some cases, resorted to slugging the opposition with penguins. The birds, unused to human company, were docile and if swung by an expert could inflict nasty head wounds. All round. There were also egg fights.

THE FUTURE

Mankind has now come to its senses. The Jackass penguin is a protected species. But it still faces threats. Over fishing of Cape anchovies (which comprise 80% of an African penguin’s diet – “Aw ma! Not anchovies again!”) is an issue. Oil leaks from ship wrecks and tanker collisions don’t help. But South African de-oiling centres spring into life as soon as there is a marine catastrophe and they are very competent.

Oil clogged Namibian penguins get sent down south and are then brought back.

If you wish to volunteer in a de-oiling operation the centres will appreciate your efforts. Expect to get dirty. Oily. And pecked.

If you are a penguin-watcher and you approach too closely, or get between the penguin and the sea, the bird is likely to cock its neck and look at you in a cute, and inquisitive fashion. It isn’t being inquisitive. And it doesn’t want to make friends or have a cuddle. It’s preparing to peck you.

Next post? Meteorites. As promised!

Cheers!

Hugh

PS The broken rib is still giving me agony. But looking on the bright side it only hurts when I laugh. Or do anything else, come to think of it…

The indigestability of plastic bags. Solution? ‘Totally degradable’ Plastic.

February 7, 2010 by Hugh Paxton

by Charles Paxton

Seeing these hideous images of choked seabirds from Midway atoll in your article The Long Arm Of Plastic, reminds me to put my mouth where my money is and tell you a bit about the merits of ‘totally degradable’ plastic. The sad fact is that improper disposal of waste plastic is having a very deleterious effect on a lot of wildlife, it is truly an international problem of epic proportions.

Wouldn’t it be awful if the sea turtles which managed to survive the cataclysmic termination of the dinosaurs could be hastened to extinction by plastic bags? Yet that is exactly what is happening.

Green Sea Turtle

Green Sea Turtle

Many species of sea turtles that munch upon jelly fish for a living are cutting short their sweet lives by choking their alimentary tracts with plastic bags. Sadly, they can’t distinguish between a healthy coelenterate supper and the diaphanous floating billows of plastic bags. According to Wild Tracks there are an estimated 46,000 pieces of floating plastic in every square mile of ocean and 100,000 sea animals per year die from choking on plastic bags!

Even if turtles mistake just 1 in a 1000 meals – the sheer quantity of plastic waste in our oceans coupled with its very slow decomposition, the turtles’ need for a high rate of consumption ( due to the low nutritional content of their jelly-fish prey) and their slow breeding rate means that the odds are stacked heavily against sea turtle survival.

Whether these bags were carelessly dumped or just plucked by the wind from trash cans, heaps, picnic bags or boats matters little to the turtles. What does matter, and this matters a lot, is the size of the jetsam and the amount of time it remains an environmental hazard after it has served its useful purpose to humanity.

Thankfully there is a solution; it is to replace conventional long-lived plastics with plastics that are programmed to biodegrade in about 6 months under normal conditions of careless disposal or on an open rubbish dump!

Symphony Environmental plc add proprietary granules to plastic in the manufacturing process that retain the strength of the plastic during its short span of useful service to mankind and then enable decomposition to set in from exposure to moisture and air when decomposition becomes the new priority.
On their website Symphony Plastics claims:

“Our d2w® additive put into the plastic at the extrusion stage will make the finished product “oxo-biodegradable” so that it will degrade and disappear in a short timescale, leaving no fragments, no methane and no harmful residues.
Degradability is not a disposal option – you can still re-use and recycle – it is low cost insurance against the accumulation of plastic waste in the environment.”

Brilliant. Their website explains how their ‘totally degradable’ technology is superior to biodegradable products: “The degradation process is initiated at the time the polyethylene or polypropylene is extruded by the inclusion of a small amount of a special additive. This additive works to break down the carbon-carbon bonds in the plastic leading to a lowering of the molecular weight and eventually to a loss of strength and other properties. Stabilisers work to ensure that a sufficiently long useful life is provided for each specific application. For example, a refuse sack might require a useful life of say 18 months before beginning to lose its strength whereas a bread bag might only require a few weeks.”

Symphony franchises its proprietary degradable plastic technology internationally and I am happy to say that they are rapidly expanding their operations and now have customers in Europe, North, South and Central America, The Middle East, India and The Far East.

In answer to the rather silly myth that has been promulgated that it isn’t worth using biodegradable materials because modern landfills are fully sealed, the very obvious point should be noted that most plastic bags aren’t ending up in sealed landfills!

While I may not have enough shares in Symphony to make much of a financial difference to me, I know that every biodegradable plastic bag that replaces a non-biodegradable one is one less choking hazard for our Chelonian friends.

Green Sea Turtle

Green Sea Turtle, Big Island, Hawaii


Symphony Plastics
http://www.degradable.net/

“Portrait of a people” – Stunning Photography and Insights Into The Himba Way of Life by Andy Luck

February 6, 2010 by Hugh Paxton
Enjoy this excellent article on The Himba by the intrepid and accomplished photojournalist, Andy Luck

Enjoy this excellent article on photography with The Himba by the intrepid and accomplished photojournalist, Andy Luck

Alongside the breathtaking photography and informative detail, Andy Luck shares expert insights into taking sensitive and faithful portraiture of these noble and beautiful indigenous Namibians. Andy Luck’s descriptive turns of phrase are as poignantly revealing as his photography. Furthermore, his guidance will help ensure that visitors who follow in his footsteps can enjoy a similar rapport. This is a very fine treatment.

Thank you for sharing, Andy!

For the pdf, please click here: Portrait Of A People by Andy Luck

African Penguins and Being Hit by a Meteorite

February 6, 2010 by Hugh Paxton

This is a teaser.

You can read about both penguins and meteorites tomorrow.

Incidentally, and totally off the point, I fell out of bed last night during a vivid dream involving me fighting burglars. I broke a rib in the process. Agony.

But it’s happened before.

Rib breaking. Not falling out of bed. I’ve broken my ribs on eighteen occasions. My major achievement was six ribs simultaneously while leading an ecotour.

Only one rib this time, but I know I’m in for ten days of agony. And sneezing is hell.

I’m now going to hobble off to a Chinese restaurant. The Yangtzee. I will be ordering spare ribs. I reckon I need them!

Cheers!

Stay safe and don’t break your ribs. You don’t need that. You really don’t!

Hugh

Crocs and the Kavango

February 6, 2010 by Hugh Paxton

TRAVEL ADVISORY:

Two children have just been taken by crocs in the Kavango (Okavango) river in Northern Namibia.

It’s a wonderful river; look at it, admire its beauty, but don’t reach for your swimming costume!

The crocs are very big, and, this is the thing, you don’t see them.

They, however, keep a close eye on you.

This Blog likes people (most of them) and it also likes crocs.

Let’s avoid “Human Wildlife Conflict”.

Enjoy the river. Don’t let the river enjoy you!

Someone Tried To Murder Me Today: Ambushes and Road Safety Tips

February 6, 2010 by Hugh Paxton

STEVE’S MAIL

Hugh!

I came face to face with my maker today and lived to tell the tale…

Driving back from Arnhem cave with a couple of visiting friends, we stopped at the airport to reconfirm their flights. Twenty minutes later we were back in the car and bowling down the road back to Windhoek when I thought we had gotten a puncture. We pulled over, checked the tyres and all seemed well. A couple of minutes later a car pulled over a couple of hundred meters behind us, then drove off again. We thought nothing more about it, got back in our bakkie and started to pull away. Suddenly, with a groan of metal on metal, the vehicle lurched to one side and we stopped.

When we got out, we found that the rear nearside wheel had fallen off! No wheel nuts in view. Fortunately, I had two jacks and a spare set of wheel nuts, so ten minutes later we were on our way, none the wore for wear.

Later this afternoon, I called in to our local friendly tyre garage and was told that there was no way all six wheel nuts would have fallen off at once…

So, someone had tried [and failed] to cause us to have a catastrophic accident. Is this common practice or is this a new [and inovative] departure for Namibia riff-raff? Oh, I understand that the official unemployment rate here is now 50%.

What thinkest thou?

Steve

THIS BLOG RESPONDS:

You kept your head. In both senses of the word. Well done!

The guys who unscrewed your lug nuts obviously wanted you to crash and die. When they saw you do neither they gave it up as a bad job and cleared off. I’m sure it was nothing personal; they just wanted your wallet. A “your money and your life” scenario.

The thing about a crash is that they can pose as good Samaritans (while they rob you).

Passing motorists will assume they have stopped and are lending a hand. Holding a living party at gun point on the main highway to South Africa is a dead giveaway and passing motorists will either stop, and if they are Namibian farmers will open fire at the villains, get out and kick their heads in, or report the guys at the nearest police check point. Car colour, registration, physical descriptions etc. The cops then throw up more roadblocks and the scumbags are screwed.

I have not heard of anybody using the lug nut ploy before – as ever, you are pioneering new territory, Steve! – but one thing to watch for is the sharp stone ambush.

THE SHARP STONE AMBUSH

We hit one on our first trip to Namibia. It was dark and we were tired. Suddenly, just ahead, we saw all these rocks laid in a line across the road. Bang! We roared over them. If we’d been in a sedan we’d have flipped (we were speeding) but we were driving an elephantine Toyota Hi-Lux and we steamed on through.

Several kays down the road we heard flapping noises, stopped and discovered that two of our tyres were totally shredded.

Luck definitely on our side that evening. A motorist stopped to help us. And five minutes later a crummy looking car arrived. It looked as if it wanted to change its mind and go away, but stalled.

The motorist made the two men inside (undoubtedly the ambushers) change our ruined tyres.

Quite a bit of labour involved. But a sidearm really motivates the workforce. Job done. And we were on our way.

ONE MORE AMBUSH

Last month, Billy, was taking a Japanese honeymoon couple to Sesriem. He crested a rise and same story. A line of sharp flints. Billy was in a sedan but he did more than a decade fighting SWAPO insurgents in the Angola border war and he’s used to ambushes.

This ambush was slightly more sophisticated than ours. The bad guys had laid out another line of stones 200 meters further on, and then a third.

Billy, in his own words, thought “Fok the car! My people are on their honeymoon!” and just steamed ahead.

Tyres popped but he drove on rims and made another 17 kays before the vehicle conked out. He hid the bemused honeymooners in the bush and waited to see if the bad guys turned up. “I wanted to give them a walloping.”

A no show. A farmer gave the Japanese a lift to a nearby guest farm. The owner gave them free drinks, the cops turned up, Billy who is a tracker found the spoor of the rock layers and the hunt was on. They got them.

TRAVEL TIP: In a rock ambush situation

1. Don’t brake.
2. Don’t swerve.
3. Don’t panic.
4. Don’t reverse. Keep going. Put as much distance as you can between the ambush site and yourself. Your car may take a beating. But you won’t.
5. Be cautious when cresting a rise. Always wise. Even if there isn’t an ambush (and usually there isn’t) there may be another vehicle on the wrong side of the road.
6. A 4×4 vehicle is safer than a sedan.
7. If you do crash, and if you aren’t packing an assault rifle, skip heroics and humbly give the guys your valuables. You are more valuable!

The last hot tip comes from Billy.

“If a guy steps out with a nine mil don’t stop. Run the arsehole down. He’ll miss. You won’t.”