Thai Days: PS to the Bees

April 17, 2014 by

Hugh Paxton‘s Blog has a PS regarding The Bees. The cat ate them all. She looks a bit groggy.

Hardly surprising. There were hundreds of them.

The cat is back in my good books! And I don’t think I’ll need to feed her today!

Cheers!

Hugh in Thailand

Thai Days: bees

April 17, 2014 by

An interesting thing! Bees! I like bees but don’t want to be killed by them. My porch, stoep, stoop, whatever you choose to call an outdoor area in front of your house, is currently buzzing with bees. A couple of them have stung me but that’s entirely fair. I trod on them. I didn’t want to. And they only stung me because I trod on them.

Why all these bees? Suddenly!

I thought about this while bees seethed around my head and crawled around the floor in intriguing circles.

Sometimes, not often, but sometimes I have a clever idea.

My floor!

It is speckled, black, white, doused with dog urine ( a subtle yellow). My floor resembles a HUGE bee. No wonder they swarm and are attracted!

My hope is that they organize themselves and bee off. A tall tree might be wise.

The taller the better!

Cheers from Bangkok

Hugh

Banks: Mr Paxton, important updates that may impact your account

April 17, 2014 by

Who the hell’s going to read all this nonsense?

I put money in a bank but I wonder why? I can’t think of a reason. I was taught to save when I was a child and I still think that’s a good idea. But why give my money to a bank? Why do any of us give our money to a bank? Why don’t we just hang on to our money and hide it under our beds?

They (banks) are not reliable. History is evidence. Recent history. Historic history. And their emails are silly.

Read on and get bored!

From: HSBC Bank plc [mailto:hsbc@information.hsbc.co.uk]
Sent: Thursday, April 17, 2014 6:16 AM
Subject: Mr Paxton, important updates that may impact your account

Please read carefully and keep for future reference spacer.gif
HSBC
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Important changes to your terms and conditions
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Important Changes to your Terms and Conditions
Important changes to your terms and conditions
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Dear Mr Paxton
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We’re making changes to our HSBC General, Current and Savings Accounts Terms and Conditions, our Banking Made Easy brochure and some of our prices. We’re also discontinuing two of our current account benefits. Unless stated otherwise, the changes are effective from 1 July 2014.

A summary and full details of the changes can be found below. Please read this carefully and keep for future reference.

If, unfortunately, you choose not to accept the changes you have the right to close your account without charge before they take effect by calling us on freephone 0800 783 4984*

Thank you for banking with HSBC.

Yours sincerely

Bruno Genovese
Head of Personal Banking

* If you’re calling from abroad +44 1226 261 010. If you have a speech or hearing impairment, you
can call our textphone service on 0845 712 5563. To help us improve our service, and in the
interests of security, we may monitor and/or record your call.

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Summary of the main changes
Reduction of international payment fees for payments made through Internet Banking.
The fee for Worldpay and Priority Payments requested through Internet Banking to a non-HSBC account has been reduced to £4. The fee for a SEPA, Worldpay and Priority Payment requested through Internet Banking to an HSBC account has been removed. The HSBC Exchange rate applies if we convert a payment into a different currency.
Changes to the ways we can use your information.
We’ve provided a more detailed explanation about how we collect, use and share your information. We have also included wider rights to investigate payments and to share information with regulators and other authorities in this country and abroad to protect against financial crime including money laundering and fraud.
Global Transfers.
We have clarified:
that Global Transfers in a non EU currency can take up to 5 days;
that we will use the HSBC Global Transfers Exchange Rate if we convert a Global Transfer into a different currency; and
the cancellation provisions that apply.
Changes to Foreign Currency and International Personal Accounts.
From the 1 July 2014, you will need to have a sterling current account with us whilst you hold one of our Foreign Currency or International Personal Current Accounts.
Removal of Mobile Money application.
You will no longer be able to use the Mobile Money application from 1 July 2014. This change does not affect our Fast Balance or Mobile Banking Apps.
Removal of the car insurance benefit from HSBC Premier.
From 1 June 2014 we are removing the car insurance benefit from HSBC Premier. Existing policies will not be affected.
Full details of the changes
Changes to price lists
1. Reduction of international payment fees fo payments made through Internet

Banking

We’ve reduced some of the fees for making an international payment using Internet Banking as follows:
Current
PIB fee
New PIB fee
(effective 1 July 2014)
SEPA
to another HSBC
account
£4 £0
Worldpay
to another HSBC
account
£9 £0
to non HSBC
account
£9 £4
Priority Payments
to another HSBC
account
£17 £0
to non HSBC
account
£17 £4
The HSBC Exchange Rate applies to all of the international payments listed above if we convert your payment into a different currency. We have updated the following Price List and Interest Rate documents General, HSBC Premier, Student and Graduate. This change does not apply to International Personal or Foreign Currency accounts.
2. Foreign Cash Fee
We’ve clarified in our General Price List and Interest Rate document that withdrawals made at self service machines outside the UK from HSBC Advance bank accounts, HSBC Premier bank accounts and HSBC Premier MyAccounts are not subject to our foreign cash fee.
3. Travellers cheques
On 30 April 2013, we stopped selling travellers cheques and from 27 June 2014 we will stop accepting all travellers cheques for encashment or for deposit regardless of where they have been purchased. We have therefore removed all references to travellers cheques from our price lists.
Changes to Terms
4. Changes to the ways we can use your information
We’ve made the following changes to our General Terms:
Clauses 25.4 and 25.5 have been deleted;
Clause 34 will read as set out below. We’ve also introduced some new definitions which apply to clause 34. These are provided on page 6 and commence with a capital letter in clause 34.
34. Your Information

We will not disclose Customer Information to anyone, other than where:
we are legally required to disclose;
we have a public duty to disclose;
our, or a third party’s, legitimate business purposes require disclosure;
the disclosure is made with your consent; or
it is disclosed as set out in this section
Collection of customer information

34.1. Members of the HSBC Group may collect, use and share Customer Information (including information about you, your transactions, your use of our products and services, and your relationships with the HSBC Group). Customer Information may be;
requested by members of the HSBC Group or on their behalf;
collected from you directly, from someone acting on your behalf, or from anywhere else eg, credit reference agencies;
combined with other information available to members of the HSBC Group.
Use of customer information

34.2. We will process, transfer and disclose Customer Information to:
provide you with Services;
deal with any of your transactions;
meet Compliance Obligations
perform Financial Crime Risk Management Activity;
collect any money you owe us;
perform credit checks and obtain or provide credit references;
enforce or defend the rights of a member of the HSBC Group;
meet the internal operational requirements of members of the HSBC Group (including, for example, product development, insurance, audit and credit and risk management);
manage our relationship with you (including marketing and marketing research if you agree to them); and
verify your identity.
Sharing customer information

34.3. When we use Customer Information as set out above, we may transfer and disclose it as follows:
to any member of the HSBC Group and anybody who provides services to them or their agents;
to any Authorities;
to persons acting on your behalf, payment recipients, beneficiaries, account nominees, intermediary, correspondent and agent banks, clearing houses and clearing or settlement systems;
to other financial institutions, fraud prevention agencies, trade associations, credit reference agencies and debt recovery agents;
to any introducing broker whom we provide instructions or referrals, or from whom we receive them;
to any third party in connection with any reorganisation, sale or acquisition of any HSBC Group member’s business;
to any third parties we use to provide banking and card services to you; and
to third parties for marketing purposes where you have consented to marketing.
The above Recipients may also use, transfer and disclose Customer Information for the same purposes and they may be in countries where data protection laws do not provide the same level of protection as in the UK. However, whether it is processed in the UK or overseas, Customer Information will be protected by a strict code of secrecy and security which all members of the HSBC Group, their staff and third parties are subject to.
34.4 Your responsibilities

You must tell us in writing about any changes to Customer Information provided to any member of the HSBC Group within 30 days of the change.
You must promptly provide any Customer Information requested by any member of the HSBC Group.
Before you provide any Personal Data or Tax Information about a Connected Person to a member of the HSBC Group, you must first tell them about, and obtain their agreement to, their information being processed, transferred and disclosed as set out above. You must also tell them that they can access and correct their information. You alone are responsible for complying with your tax obligations (and Connected Persons are responsible for complying with theirs), such as payment of tax and filing of tax returns, in all countries where those obligations arise and relating to the opening and use of accounts and Services provided by members of the HSBC Group. Some countries’ tax laws may apply to you even if you do not live there or are not a citizen of that country. No member of the HSBC Group provides tax advice or is responsible for your tax obligations in any country including in connection with any accounts or Services provided by members of the HSBC Group. You should seek independent legal and tax advice.
34.6. What happens if you don’t meet your responsibilities?

If you:
do not promptly respond to our requests for Customer Information; or
do not agree that we can disclose, transfer or process Customer Information in accordance with this
‘Your formation’ section (other than for marketing or market research purposes); or
if a member of the HSBC Group suspects Financial Crime; then we may:
be unable to provide all or part of the Services to you and can end our entire relationship with you;
take necessary steps for any member of the HSBC Group to meet the Compliance Obligations; and/or
block or close your account(s). If you do not give us Tax Information about you or a Connected Person when we request it, we may make our own decision about your tax status. This may result in us reporting you to a Tax Authority, withholding any amounts from products or services you have with us and paying those to the appropriate Tax Authority.
34.7 Accessing your information

You can make a written request for a copy of certain personal records we hold about you. The current fee is £10.00 per request from each individual.

34.8 Actions we take to prevent financial crime

Members of the HSBC Group may carry out Financial Crime Risk Management Activity. Exceptionally this may result in members of the HSBC Group delaying or refusing either to process a payment or your instructions, or to provide all or part of any Services to you.
No member of HSBC Group shall be responsible to you or any third party for any loss incurred as a result of any member of the HSBC Group carrying out Financial Crime Risk Management Activity.

34.9. Credit reference and fraud prevention agencies

We may share information with credit reference agencies:

If you apply for a current account or credit, we may use details of your credit history to assess your ability to meet financial commitments.
About how you manage any current accounts or borrowing from us.
If we make demand for repayment of a debt and you do not repay the amount owing, or make and keep to acceptable repayment proposals within 28 days (provided there is not a genuine dispute about the amount you owe). This may affect your ability to obtain further credit. Credit reference agencies record details which will form part of your credit history regardless of whether you proceed with your application for an account or borrowing. If you make several applications within a short period of time this may temporarily affect your ability to obtain credit. If you make a joint application for a current account or credit, an association linking your financial records with those of the other joint applicant(s) will be created by credit reference agencies. The credit history of your ‘associates’ may be taken into consideration in any future application for credit. This association will remain in place until you file a ‘notice of disassociation’ with credit reference agencies. More information is set out in our leaflet "Credit Scoring, Credit Reference and Fraud Prevention Agencies" available on our website, from branches or by calling 0800 587 7008 (textphone 0800 028 3516). Please also call this number if you want details of the credit reference and fraud prevention agencies we use. Lines are open 8.30pm to 6pm Monday to Friday, excluding public holidays.
34.10. Information we may store on your computer

When you use any device to access HSBC Group websites, information may be stored and accessed on your device:

to improve your experience;
to improve the functionality security and performance of those websites;
to provide you with marketing;
to provide us with information about how those websites are used and how you arrive at those websites; and/or
to ensure that marketing information displayed to you when you use HSBC Group websites is more likely to be relevant and of interest to you.
If you receive emails from or on behalf of the HSBC Group, they may include technologies to track, for market research purposes, if you open the emails and if you use internet links within them. Further information on our cookie policy, website terms and privacy statement can be found on our website
34.11. Other ways we can use your information

To ensure that we carry out your instructions accurately, to help us improve our service and in the interests of security, we may monitor and/or record your communications with us such as telephone calls and conversations in branches. In the interests of security and preventing crime we may use closed-circuit TV in and around our premises for the monitoring and collection of sound and/or visual images. All recordings remain our sole property.

We may make and keep copies of identification evidence that you provide.
If you change your mind about receiving marketing information or about participating in market research you should tell us.
This clause 34 will continue to apply even if this agreement is ended by you or us.

5. Foreign Currency and International Personal Current Accounts
From 1 July 2014, you will need to have a sterling current account with us whilst you hold one of our Foreign Currency or International Personal current accounts. We have introduced a new paragraph into clause 13 of our Current Account Terms as follows:
You must hold a sterling account with us for as long as you have your Foreign Currency or International Personal Current Account. If you do not do so or you close your sterling current account then we will immediately close your Foreign Currency or International Personal Current Account.
6. Global Transfers
We have clarified the maximum execution time for Global Transfers as immediate for payments made in an EU currency (including sterling) and up to 5 days for all other currencies. Clause 15.2 has been amended to reflect this.
We have also amended clause 11.1 to state that we will use the HSBC Global Transfers Exchange Rate if we convert a Global Transfer in to a different currency. We have changed the cancellation provisions for future dated Global Transfers in the “Making payments” section of Banking Made Easy brochure. This now states:
You can also cancel a future payment through Global Transfers in internet banking or by calling telephone banking before 6pm (5pm at weekends) the day before the payment is due to be made.
7. Account closure
We have clarified in Clause 33.4 of our General Terms that when you close your current account (or switch it to another provider), we will deduct any outstanding interest and/or charges from the balance before providing the remaining money to you (or your new current account provider).
33.4 You must repay any money owed to us before we close your account. If you close your current account (or switch your current account to another provider), we will deduct any outstanding interest and/or charges from your current account balance before providing the remaining money to you (or your new current account provider),whichever is relevant. If, after account closure we pay any cheques you have issued or card transactions you have made or incur any charges relating to these, you agree to repay us these amounts in full.
8. When payments will be made by us
We have clarified in clause 10.3 of our General Terms when we will make a Direct Debit payment. The new clause is set out below:
10.3 This clause only applies to bill payments, standing orders and sterling Direct Debits. If you do not meet the requirements set out in the previous clause, we will still make a payment that is due to be made on a working day (or will not recall a Direct Debit payment we have made that day) if, before 3.30pm on the day the payment is due to be made:
you pay in sufficient cleared funds; and
there is a sufficient available balance to cover the payment at 3.30pm. If the payment is due to be made at a weekend or on a bank holiday then we will make the payment if you meet the requirements of this clause on the next working day.
9. Statements
We have simplified the terms and conditions that relate to statements. There will be no changes to the statements we currently provide or make available to you as a result of this simplification.
We have changed clause 24.2 to read as follows:
24.2 If we provide you with paper statements we will do so regularly and at least once every 12 months.
We have also deleted clause 24.3.
10. Introduction of some new definitions into the Terms
We have added some new definitions into the Terms as follows:

"Authorities" includes any judicial, administrative, public or regulatory body, any government, any Tax Authority, court, central bank or law enforcement body, or any of their agents with jurisdiction over any part of the HSBC Group.

"Compliance Obligations" means obligations of the HSBC Group to comply with:
• laws or international guidance and internal policies or procedures;
• any demand from Authorities or reporting, disclosure or other obligations under Laws; and
• Laws requiring us to verify the identity of our customers.

"Connected Person" means any natural person or legal entity (other than you) whose information (including Personal Data or Tax Information) you provide, or which is provided on your behalf, to any member of the HSBC Group or which is otherwise received by any member of the HSBC Group in connection with the provision of the Services. A Connected Person may include any guarantor, recipient of a payment, anyone who has opened or operates an account on your behalf, anyone entitled to the money in an account or any other persons or entities with whom you have a relationship that is relevant to your relationship with the HSBC Group.

"Customer Information" means your Personal Data, confidential information, and/or Tax Information or that of a Connected Person.

"Financial Crime" means money laundering, terrorist financing, bribery, corruption, tax evasion, fraud, evasion of economic or trade sanctions, and/ or any acts or attempts to circumvent or break any Laws relating to these matters.

"Financial Crime Risk Management Activity" means any action to meet Compliance Obligations relating to the detection, investigation and prevention of Financial Crime. This may include:

screening, intercepting and investigating any communication, application for Services or any payment, whether sent to or by you or on your behalf;
investigating the source of or intended recipient of money;
combining Customer Information with other related information in the possession of the HSBC Group;
and/or
making further enquiries as to the status of a relevant person or entity, whether they are subject to a sanctions regime or confirming their identity or status.
"HSBC Group" and "any member of the HSBC Group" means HSBC Holdings plc, and/or any of its affiliates, subsidiaries, associated entities, and any of their branches or offices;

(this definition replaces the existing definition of "HSBC Group")

"Laws" include any local or foreign law, regulation, judgment or court order, voluntary code, sanctions regime, agreement between any member of the HSBC Group and an Authority, or agreement or treaty between Authorities and applicable to us or a member of the HSBC Group.

"Personal Data" means any information relating to an individual from which they can be identified.

"PIB" means our Personal Internet Banking service. We may offer facilities through which you may access some but not all of your PIB services. References and requirements within the Terms to the Personal Internet Banking service means both our full service (which is available by logging on at hsbc.co.uk) and also any other facilities we offer through which you can access some or all of our PIB services unless stated otherwise.

"Recipient" means the person receiving the money being paid (this may be another person or it may be you if you are sending a payment to another account you have or if you are withdrawing cash).

"Services" means (a) the opening, maintaining and closing of your accounts with Us, (b) providing you with credit facilities and other banking products and services, processing applications, credit and eligibility assessment, and (c) maintaining our overall relationship with you, including marketing services or products to you, market research, insurance, audit and administrative purposes.

"Tax Authority" means UK or foreign tax, revenue or monetary authorities (for example, HMRC).

"Tax Certification Forms" means any forms or other documentation which may be issued or required by a Tax Authority or by us from time to time to confirm your tax status or the tax status of a Connected Person.

"Tax Information" means documentation or information about your tax status.

11. Removal of HSBC Premier fee if Premier qualification criteria is not met
If you do not meet the Premier qualification criteria, we will give you 2 months’ notice that we will be changing your account to our Bank Account. You are no longer able to pay a monthly fee to retain your Premier Bank Account. Clause 14.4.1 of the Current Accounts Terms has been changed to reflect the removal of this fee and now reads as follows:

14.4.1. Qualification criteria apply to HSBC Premier. If you do not meet the qualification criteria we will give you 2 months’ personal notice that we will be converting HSBC Premier to our Bank Account product. We will provide you with all the relevant information for your new account.

We may change the HSBC Premier qualification criteria from time to time in accordance with clauses 27 to 31 of our General Terms. You can close HSBC Premier without notice if you are not happy with the changes proposed.

Changes to current account benefits
12. Removal of Mobile Money application

You will no longer be able to use the Mobile Money application from 1 July 2014. This change does not affect our Fast Balance or Mobile Banking Apps.

13. Removal of the car insurance benefit from HSBC Premier Bank Account

From 1 June 2014, we are removing the car insurance benefit from HSBC Premier. Existing policies will not be affected.

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Leonie’s Bit! Here’s a legal question … :-)

April 17, 2014 by

Subject: Here’s a legal question … :-)

Here’s a legal question:

Is this statutory rape?
….
or just a monumental mistake?

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Poetry on dogs and cats

April 16, 2014 by

Hugh Paxton’s Blog

Has a cat and a dog

The cat wants love

And to show that it shows

It sticks it black bum

Right next to my nose

I say to my cat in some words

(That can’t be repeated)

And words and more words that have been deleted

**********off!

My dog is just smelly

And carries a belly

That can not be filled

Every child needs a pet

Then the pet needs a vet

Then I get the bill

It’s making me ill!

They eat dogs in The Nam

And I don’t give a damn!

Why not? I do say

Take mine right away!

( and while you are busy take my cat, hedgehogs and everything!)

Hugh scooping poo!

Again!

Hugh

Making movies, making doccies: New post Wildopeneye at BVE – S ony upgrades our FS700 cinema camera to 4k output (and more)!

April 15, 2014 by

This latest post from my good friend, Andy Luck, is of no practical use to Hugh Paxton’s Blog. I don’t make movies or TV programmes.

I watch them, goof around with the local children, make them, but that’s home movie stuff. Frequently more dramatic than anything the BBC can manage.

But if you actually want to get paid for all your hard work and are inching into the industry or are already there but wanting to sharpen things, and are reading this, the review may be of considerable use. Andy’s been round the block making shorts that really grab and capture the atmosphere of people, wildlife and places. I’m waiting for him to make a horror movie! Nothing as yet in that department. But I live in hope. Anybody who is busy attaching wires to innards and is excited about dissecting machines has potential!

Wild Open Eye welcomes contributions and ideas (but Andy is a bit picky so don’t ask where you can buy a lens cap if it has fallen into a Sunderbans mangrove wetland – although I think that would be a great idea!)

Cheers!

Hugh in Bangkok

From: Wild Open Eye – Natural Vision, News from Wild Open Eye [mailto:comment-reply@wordpress.com]
Sent: Monday, April 14, 2014 9:52 PM
Subject: [New post] Wildopeneye at BVE – Sony upgrades our FS700 cinema camera to 4k output (and more)!

wildopeneye posted: " One of the cinema HD cameras we have been most impressed with at Wild Open Eye is Sony’s FS700 which we have used on a number of shoots recently and in Scotland, particularly on some short craft films about fashion knitwear designer Di Gilpi"

Respond to this post by replying above this line

New post on Wild Open Eye – Natural Vision, News from Wild Open Eye

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Wildopeneye at BVE – Sony upgrades our FS700 cinema camera to 4k output (and more)!

by wildopeneye

Andy with Wild Open Eye's Sony FS700 cinema HD camera

Andy Luck with Wild Open Eye’s Sony FS700 cinema HD camera

One of the cinema HD cameras we have been most impressed with at Wild Open Eye is Sony’s FS700 which we have used on a number of shoots recently and in Scotland, particularly on some short craft films about fashion knitwear designer Di Gilpin.

Here the FS700′s fabulous 240 fps super slo-mo HD was perfect for showing off fashion models in flowing garments, delighting all who saw the results. It’s not just about slo-mo however, as we have also found the FS700 holds a lot of clean detail which looks better than any DSLRs we have tried when recorded at Pro Res HQ onto our Atomos Samurai.

Results also look terrific at modest bitrates recorded without any external HD device straight onto the internal card in AVCHD.

Filming the Pride concert with the FS700

Filming the Pride concert with the FS700

We were very impressed when filming out and about in London for Visit Britain over the amount of detail and tonality in the files and it performed flawlessly at the Pride concert in Trafalgar Square even as light levels dropped off.

It’s also a lot of fun to use the FS700 for wildlife, for example slowing dragonflies, bees and butterflies down in flight at a fraction of the cost of a Phantom!

One of the main practical reasons we invested in the FS700 ourselves however was that in a time where electronic media equipment becomes obsolete almost before it is released, the FS700 came with a promise of a degree of future proofing with the Sony pledge to make upgrades to 2k and 4k output possible through firmware and hardware add-ons in the future.

Vertiginous Emirates Skyline!

Vertiginous Emirates Skyline!

That future has now arrived and Sony were even good enough to waive the firmware upgrade fees for those attending the recent 2014 BVE broadcast equipment exhibition at the ExCel in London, upgrading owners FS700′s on the spot. Jerry Short and I hotfooted it up the river Thames by KPMG Thames Clipper boat service (very fast and impressive) and over the river from the O2 on the Emirates Skyline cable car (vertigo-inducing but spectacular!), with the FS700 in a rucksack.

Leo Napoll of Sony Pro Support with the new chip that will allow our FS700 to output 4 k

Leo Napoll of Sony Pro Support with the new chip that will allow our FS700 to output 4 k

Safely over the river and into the Sony stand at the ExCel, we met Sony Prime Support technical specialist Leo Napoll, one of nature’s gentlemen who took our FS700, issued us with a chit and as there was no queue, proceeded to work on the camera right there and then while we waited and chatted. Very impressive service that warmed us to Sony professional considerably and made that initial investment in the FS700 feel all the more worthwhile!

With the new upgrade, instead of shooting around 8 seconds of super slo mo in AVCHD to the internal card, the camera can now output continuous 240fps in 2k raw via the SDI port t an external recorder – amazing!

_DSC2856

Our FS700′s innards tethered to Sony Prime Support’s mainframe prepares to receive the 4k goodness!

Now with Convergent Design’s work with Sony to take the FS700′s modified 12 bit RAW output from the SDI port into their Odyssey 7Q, 4k recording is possible, but it’s a pity however that storage is still very pricey. Hopefully this will come down in time. The output can of course go to ProRes HQ in 10 bit taking up less space and according to Philip Bloom and others provides stunning HD.

Another benefit that can be used with or without the 4k recorder option is the new addition of S-Log 2 at a native ISO of 2000 while max ISO on the camera is also raised to 64000!

More to follow once we get a 7Q to test with the FS700.

AL 30/03/14

wildopeneye | 14/04/2014 at 2:51 pm | Tags: 2k, 4k, Andy Luck, BVE, Cinema camera, fashion, JerryShort, London, Sony FS700, super slow motion, Upgrade, wildlife | Categories: Equipment Test, Filming, Gear | URL: http://wp.me/p10R9B-jz

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South Africa: A trial my lady

April 13, 2014 by

Day FIVE:

Prosecution: So you moved the fan?

Hugh: Only four times. It was instinct, my lady. Then I shot it, my lady.

Prosecution: Don’t keep calling me that!

Hugh: What, my lady?

Prosecution: That!

Hugh: What, my lady?

Prosecution: Me! Stop it! I’d have thought it was blindingly obvious! I’m not a lady! I’m a man!

Hugh: I apologise if I have caused offence my cherry cheeked pert and frisky little buttercup. I thought it was obligatory in a South African court to call everybody “my lady”. Even if they have a beard.

Judge: Hugh has raised an interesting linguistic point. But I must intervene, my ladies and nancy boys of the jury. We seem to be evading a crucial issue in the evidence regarding the fan, my sprightly darlings. Hugh you gorgeous thing did you move that fan my trans sexual?

Hugh: There are far too many fans in South Africa, my little plump but becoming sister. It was late, I’d woken, my good man, the fan was there, darling, and I moved it my little poppet. Four times. Then riddled it with bullets.

Prosecution: Objection my ruggedly handsome and muscular stud! Hugh is deliberately evading the question and hasn’t asked the answer to the question my lady!

Judge: Yes, apparently yes and no and he might have. I suggest somebody (not you, Hugh) fixes these fans and sorts out the toilets, the locks don’t work and there aren’t any seats, and somebody keeps stealing the toilet paper and then we adjourn for lunch my chirpy ducklings?

Everybody (finally in agreement): Yes my lady!!!

Iranian Visas: Application processes

April 12, 2014 by

Hugh Paxton’s Blog reckons that Iranian fellow who can’t get a visa to enter America should have applied for one while he was invading the American embassy in Tehran and holding everybody hostage and putting sacks on their heads. I guess he had probably set fire to all the visa application forms while yelling God is Great and Death to America! What a git! America doesn’t need him.

Hugh

Pakistan clamp down! Nine montn old kid arrested for civil disturbance

April 12, 2014 by

Hugh Paxton’s Blog rarely calls for the death penalty but that nine month old kid in Pakistan needs the rope! It needs a rope to hang its arresting officers!

Come on Pakistan! Anybody with a brain wouldn’t arrest a nine month old baby and charge it with civil unrest!

Unrest, yes, a fair cop. Little ones are noisy. Nine months is a bit restive.

But come along Pakistan!

Any common sense from you incoming?

Hugh

9 years old and about to marry

April 12, 2014 by

Hugh Paxton’s Blog has been blessed with a daughter. She makes a cyclone of a mess, keeps losing her shoes, avoids homework if possible, keeps falling out of trees, has never hung up a towel in her life, doesn’t like shrimps or green things in my pasta sauces and steals my Snickers bars. She has her faults but so do I. Overall I must say that she is an absolute joy. The idea of her getting married is something I haven’t really confronted or considered. She’s ten years old.

In Iraq she might already be married if the law gets changed. And last year she could have already obtained her first divorce (that law is already in place). What the heck is wrong with that country?

Read on.

This in from Debra.

From: Debra Rosen, Walk Free [mailto:debra@walkfree.org]
Subject: 9 years old and about to marry

hsi-email-logo-2013.jpg

hugh,

We’ve just learned that any minute now, the Iraqi Council of Representatives will vote to legalise Forced Child Marriage1.

The specifics of the legislation (part of the Jaafari Personal Status Law) are terrifying:

  • There will no longer be a minimum age to legally marry (it’s currently 18) but the law provides policies for divorcing a 9-year-old girl;
  • A girl’s father would legally be able to accept a marriage proposal on her behalf; and
  • The girl would be legally prohibited from resisting her husband’s advances and leaving the home without his permission.

It’s a recipe for a life in domestic and sexual slavery.

The law was sent to the Council of Representatives yesterday, and the vote could happen any time now. To prevent Iraq’s girls from becoming vulnerable to forced child marriage it is crucial that we act now.

Tell Iraq’s Council of Representatives not to legalise Forced Child Marriage.

Currently, Iraq has one of the most progressive policies on women’s rights in the Middle East — setting the legal marriage age at 18 and prohibiting forced marriage2.

Brave Iraqi women have been fighting against removing the minimum age for marriage, for their sake and for the sake of their daughters. Last month on International Women’s Day, countless women attended demonstrations in Baghdad protesting the Jaafari Personal Status Law. They called it the “Day of Mourning”3.

Iraqi Sunni and Shia religious leaders have criticised the Jaafari Personal Status law as discriminatory and a violation of religious texts3, and Safia al-Suhail, a female Member of Parliament, has called it a “disaster” showing that Iraq is “going backwards”4.

We may not have much time to stop Iraq from legalising Forced Child Marriage and a lifetime of domestic and sexual slavery for girls and women. Will you help?

Urge the Council of Representatives to say “no” to legalising Forced Child Marriage.

Stand with the women and girls of Iraq — please forward this email to as many as your friends as possible, and ask them to contact the Iraqi Council of Representatives today.

In solidarity,

Debra, Sarah, Andrew, Kate, Kamini & the Walk Free Team

P.S. On Twitter? Follow us

1 http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/middleeast/iraq/10753645/Iraq-ready-to-legalise-childhood-marriage.html
2 http://apps.americanbar.org/rol/publications/iraq_personal_status_law_1959_english_translation.pdf
3 http://www.hrw.org/news/2014/03/11/iraq-don-t-legalize-marriage-9-year-olds
4 http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/mar/20/iraq-child-marriage-bill-human-rights

Walk Free is a movement of people everywhere, fighting to end one of the world’s greatest evils: Modern slavery.

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